Saturday, December 31, 2005

Police Car sighted

In what appears to be a sudden move by the Police, Dunedin is to receive it's first Police Car.

Today, in a quiet unveiling ceremony, the car was shown to the public. As you can see from the photo, the public appear non-plused.

"Now we just have to wait for the criminals", cried an unnamed young woman. "We never had any of their like - until the Police showed up in town", she muttered, before heading off to Pack-N-Save for some last minute New Years Eve supplies.

The Police minister was unavailable for comment, but it is understood the general feeling is that Dunedin has had it far too good for far too long, and that the long arm of the law will now extend further south than Christchurch.

It has been well understood for some time that Dunedin has been an "untapped resource for crime" and that the scope for potential criminal offending is significant. It was thought, however, that the lack of criminal infrastructure would hinder the revenue oppertunities for the Police.

The Minister responded: "This will now no longer be a problem, as we have fast tracked some Brothels and Opium Dens. RMA consents have also allowed to be bypassed to allow the cultivation of Cannabis in secret locations."

Police expect to also import some "snitches" to enable fast resolution of these "hidden plots".

In an unrelated exercise Police and other government departments, recently set up in Dunedin, are insisting on making it safe once again to walk the streets of this lovely city.

"With this in mind we will be installing Speed Cameras and Random breath-alcohol checkpoints. We also will be lowering the drinking age, and supplying people with faster cars to aid revenue growth in this sector of our operations", said a Police source.

"We will have Dunedin looking like the rest of the country in no time", he stated.

Ban this ban that

An article in the herald looks at the banning of cellphones inside vehicles.

Even though the use of cellphones in vehicles have only been attributed to 4 road deaths this year 77% of people who like participating in polls think that their use by drivers should be banned.

Out of those 77% I wonder..

How many drive?
How many currently use their cellphones whilst driving?
How many polls they've completed in the last 12 months?
How many polled have a life?

From the article .....

The Ministry of Transport has spent more than a year investigating cellphone use in cars and other "inside-the-vehicle" driver distractions such as map-reading, tuning the radio, eating, drinking and smoking.

Frankly if they ban cellphones, then you would have to ban all the formentioned driver distractions as well. Oh and dont forget to get rid of those "out of car" distractions - like the shameless young men and woman who flaunt their lithe, semi-clothed bodies at the poor unsuspecting motorist during the summer months.

Bring back the berka I say!!!

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Road Toll 2005

The NZ Herald includes an article on this years road toll.

Some interesting paragraphs are included below (in itallics)

People who run red lights and overtake on double yellow lines should lose their licence....


Mr Duynhoven agreed with police that 95 per cent of New Zealanders were good drivers but 5 per cent were letting the side down.
He believed that 5 per cent should be made to pay.

I am inclined to agree with these statements, and would like to point out that personal responsibility has always been the issue in my opinion. The Government and their enforcers ie. The Police, have always gone for the soft targets - The Mum's and Dad's and the rest of the 95%.

Dont get me wrong - I in no way condone the wrongdoings of the 95% - in fact I believe that we all have to follow the laws of the land. It's just that, as a country, we seem to turn a blind eye to the 5%.

Examples of their behavior include;

People who rack up fines to a point where the courts wipe them - as they cant pay them.
People who drive without a licience - and never intend to stop doing so.
People who always drink and drive, and simply dont care if they do or dont.

There is no point to having laws if a certain percentage of the population dont intend to follow them. We all have a vested interest in our society flourishing - it's time to weed out those that survive on the fringes, supported by those of us that choose to live by the rules.

In order to hit these people where it hurts we must take away their ability to cause trouble. I'm thinking as I type this - but how about these for ideas...

If you drink and drive - your car is impounded and sold. Unless the car is stolen - If the car is someone else's then the car will be impounded for a time period decided by the courts.
If you dont have a licience you can't buy a car.
If you cant insure a car - you cant own a car.
If your car is not registered - your car will be impounded for twice the duration of the lapsed registration. You will then only be able to recover the car - after it's been registered.

Well that will do for starters. Personally I'd vote for a zero alcohol level for drivers - then there is no confusion over the amount to drink. The the No Drinking and Driving message would then make some sense.

And as for the problem teens driving under the influence - that would stop once they lost their car (or their parent's car). The responsible teens who were obeying the law would be able to carry on unhindered - after all they've done nothing wrong.

When keeping Left isn't always Right

Here in New Zealand we drive on the left hand side of the road, except in Dunedin - where it seems we chop and change on a whim.

This photo is an example of Dunedin's little nod to America and Europe. And another example of why you should always drive someone elses car and not your own over-restored 1974 Capri. Thanks to IG, who was riding shotgun, my car is still in one piece.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Another good reason to live in Dunedin

Not that anyone would need another reason to move here but....

Just look at the masses taking to the streets in a mad rush to get the last sale bargain. I tell you Dunedinites don't seem to appreciate what they've got. I'm told by locals it's chaos out there!

On a more distressing note look at what happens if you disobey the strict instructions not to drink the water in Central Otago. Tumour Boy and Scrabble Queen look beyong help in this PXT sent to me a few days ago. Bottled water kiddies - bottled water!!!!!

One hates to think that at this very moment, they are sitting on the veranda of their log cabin. Scrabble Queen picking a banjo whilst Tumorboy does some whit'ln with a giant bowie knife.

(cue music from Deliverance)

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Fast lane shopping.

Having managed to avoid the Boxing Day shoppers yesterday, I ventured out today with Shars for some retail therapy.

I never understand why people stop in the middle of the footpath for no apparent reason. Did you notice that they then seem to stare through everybody around them, before some small spark startles the hamster in their brain only to set them heading off again?

Its' the same thing for the idiots who seem to enjoy walking against the flow on the wrong side of the footpath - and I for one, am sick of it all.

This is obviously not acceptable - If they were in a car they would be rear-ended or at least abused by people following behind. So what can we do about these forgetful shoppers?

I believe we need a lane system - much like the roading system. You could have a slow lane for the idiots who dont know where they are going - and a fast lane for those of us who do..

Now lets see... heading for K-Mart then a short trip to the mall to buy a CD. Great! Sorted! It's the fast lane for me - say goodbye to the huddled masses in the slow lane; never sure which foot goes in front next. No sudden stops, followed by the uncertain wobble - unsure if they plan a 180 degree turn before smashing into an unsuspecting fellow slow lane passenger.

This way we can all zip past them, and enjoy the sight of the traffic challenged shopper - sure in the knowledge the person in front of us knows where they are going as well.

Ahhhhh - the prospect of nirvana..... Make it so!

Monday, December 26, 2005

Home for the holidays

Yippee - I'm home in Dunnoz for the holidays (Dunedin,New Zealand).

At this time of the year I really enjoy the break from my own life, enjoying the stresses and worries of others!

So whilst heading out to numerous cafe's and eating too much I can listen to all the latest gossip from my Dunedin friends, and post them on the interweb thingy for everyone else to see.

So who's doing what with whom, where, I hear you asking?

Absolutely bloody nobody, with no-one, nowhere! - and I smell a rat!

I believe this is one huge conspiracy, and I vow to get to the bottom of it. They wont be able to keep any secrets once i ply them with chocolates and Christmas drinkies so watch this space !

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Merry Christmas all

Was wondering what to post for Christmas Eve - and received this email from Petri.

I hope he doesn't mind me using it :)

Merry Christmas to all
(terms apply of course) & best wishes for 2006.

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all ...

And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make New Zealand great, (not to imply that New Zealand is necessarily greater than any other country), and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.)

Warmest Regards



Bloody Harry Potter

This story was in a link from my previous post - and I found it here on the Herald site as well!

Please - he is a fictional character -say it slowly with me - a fict-sion-al character.

From the article...

Harry Potter has cast a protective spell over accident-prone children, doctors claim today.

Despite his enthusiasm for Quidditch and jet-powered broomsticks, the youthful wizard appears to have had a benign effect on his fans, researchers have found.

Idiots - pretending to be doctors, noted that children who were reading Harry Potter books had less accidents than those who weren't reading the books. Its seems that during the release of the latest Harry Potter book less injuries were reported (except maybe eyestrain?).

Bad science - bad bad science. I knocked up a research study on the effect of SLEEP on children, and have come to the conclusion that during the time children sleep they have fewer injuries than when awake and playing with pit bull terriers on "speed".

Surprisingly, fewer deaths as well.

When I was at school, i was told the best way to disprove an hypothesis was to to design an experiment to prove your hypothesis wrong. If you couldn't get that experiment to work then chances are you might be on the right track. I was informed by a scientist that this no longer happens - perhaps because scientists no longer think, and would rather just spend money trying to find something sexy that will end up in the mass media.

News Flash - Earth round after all


The NZ Herald report that US Scientists are voting Darwinian evolution as the breakthrough of the year.

While this may not come as any surprise to some, the idea of Creationism or "Intelligent Design" has been gaining momentum, and it appears many people now fear travelling by cruise liner lest they fall off the edge of the world.

Other practices on the rise include the burning of Witches and the revival of traditional medical practices such as blooding and leeches.

Lord of the Rings fans should rechoice at the prospect of the return of Orc's and Wizards, while others fear the return of Lord Voldemort.

I blame Harry Potter for all of this.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Star Wars in 30 seconds with Bunnies

"A New Hope" in 30 seconds with bunnies - and still much better than "The Phantom Menace"

Pre-nup ? What pre-nup!

In a Intolerable Cruelty twist Jessica Simpson has asked that she not have to pay alimony to her soon to be ex-husband Nick Lachey.

It seems that under California Law if you dont have a pre-nuptial agreement then by law you have to pay half of the earnings made during the marriage to each partner. When Jessica married Nick he was worth much more than her (hence the no pre-nup). However Jessica is now worth over 50 million dollars, and wants to keep it.

She should of had a Massey Pre-nup methinks

Monday, December 19, 2005

Kate is Dead

I've been putting off this post for a day now - and it isnt getting any easier to type the words. Yes - our Kate is dead...

All i know is that Gibbs, Dinozzo, and McGee will be very very very upset indeed.

And that wont be good for a double crossing al-Quada agent will it....Die Ari DIE

I cant believe I didnt use the interweb thingy to see this coming. I'm in shock - and I KNOW I'm not the only one. It just doesnt help that i found out Kate will live again in Mission Impossible 3.

I bet the bastards will kill her in that as well!!!!

Nicky Butt is going to Hell

Who is Nicky Butt?

Ms Butt is leading a crusade against Victoria Avenue School, and their tradition of saying the Lord's Prayer prior to the school assembly. In fact she's taking the school to the Human Rights Commission.

Now the school has offered to remove her 7 year old daughter from the school assembly - but NO that will not do - I cant have my daugher marginalised at such a young age she bleets. (Like having a mother taking the school to the Human Rights Comission wouldnt do a slap up job of that anyway).

"I'd rather have her roast in hell", she said... ok she didnt say that.... but she might has well have.

And to top it off her daugher is leaving the school this year, so she really just wants to stuff it up for everyone left behind!

The article is here.

Now I'm an agnostic, and if there's one thing an agnostic knows - it's that you never really know. Basically we're a bunch of fence sitters. And you know - I really liked saying the Lords Prayer at school - it was a great tradition. Our school also had a great tradition of singing. It really raised the hairs on the back of your neck when we sang the old hymns like "Exodus". Tradition is good goddammit.

So while sitting on my white picket fence I can say that..

A) If there is a GOD then saying the Lord's prayer isnt going to do you any harm
B) If there isn't a GOD then saying the Lord's Prayer isnt going to do any harm


C) If there is a GOD and he is a vengeful GOD I wouldnt want to be Nicky Butt - no buts about that at all :)


Links from Frankie's site

Your Porn Star Name Is...

Biggus Dickus

You Are a Classic Martini

You area sophisticated drinker, who knows that simple quality is over-rated.
You're a knowledgeable drunk, but sometimes you're a know-it-all when you're blasted.

You should never: Drink and gossip. You tend to forget who's standing right behind you!

Your ideal party: Has a real bartender. But no one mixes a better drink than you.

Your drinking soulmates: those with a Chocolate Martini personality

Your drinking rivals: those with a Margarita Martini personality

Sunday, December 18, 2005

When is Domestic Spying ok?

George Bush is answering that exact question, although many in the United States are unsure they like what they're hearing.

In what some are saying is an illegal move, Bush has used portions of the Patriot Act, passed after the 9/11 bombings, to allow the NSA to intercept international phone calls from people "determined" to have a close links to al-Qaida.

From the article...

James Bamford, author of two books on the National Security Agency, said the program could be problematic because it bypasses a special court set up by the 1978 Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act to authorize eavesdropping on suspected terrorists.

"I didn't hear him specify any legal right, except his right as president, which in a democracy doesn't make much sense," Bamford said in an interview. "Today, what Bush said is he went around the law, which is a violation of the law - which is illegal."

"I tell you, he's President George Bush, not King George Bush. This is not the system of government we have and that we fought for," Sen. Russell Feingold, D-Wis., told The Associated Press.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

It's just not logical Jim

After all the media reports about the possible banning of Party Pills, I find it ironic that we dont look at some other recreational drugs of choice.

ALAC have an interesting pdf that has some interesting stats on New Zealand and drinking.

I find it sad that those who govern us decided to change the drinking age from 20 to 18, especially when you consider the damage this drug of choice does to our society. I dont blame a specific party for the outcome as this was a conscience vote - but you have to wonder what they were thinking....

The stats are amazing - Alcohol cost us a staggering 1 to 4 billion dollars a year in harm, with 655 million in public heath spending, 240 millon in crime, and over 1 billion in lost productivity each year.

When our top sports team is sponsored by alcohol, and sport stadiums are rife with alcohol sponsorship - you have to ask yourself why Doctors want to ban "Party Pills" that to this date have not killed a single person. You think they would have bigger fish to fry.

Now let me make a couple of things clear here - I drink on occassion, and I've never taken party pills. I just think its sad we dont put our energies where they are needed because we simply accept that alcohol is a necessity in our lives.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I know no famous people

Toni Marsh - yeah right
Nicki Watson - someone I knew saw her on the street - does that count?
Paul Holmes?
Judy Bailey? - Wait they're not famous anymore!

Hey - Auckland isnt that big - surely I should statistically know someone who's famous?

And the list of people continues... and this is why I should stop buying Lotto tickets.

Jake the Muzz ? Isnt he in Guatemala?
Marty Devlin/Marcus Lush or Michael Laws -

You would think that as small as Auckland is, with it's one corner diary and fish and chip shop, I would know someone, but I'll have to accept one degree of separation from the ONLY decent thing about Shortland Street - the multi-talented Angela Bloomfield.

Eat your hearts' out commoners :)

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


The Penis Song for your viewing pleasure. (Flash Multimedia)

Try just clicking on the link first but Right click and "save as" if you cant stream this (although it should load first - its only 520k) and save it to your harddrive. You can then open the file from within internet explorer.

Why is it....

That people always laugh at someone else's expense?

I just about pissed myself when I watched this... on Kladblog (warning - streaming media)

If you have a slow connection you might like to right click on the link and click save as - to download the link to your PC.

Train 1 - SUV's 0

Stuff reports on an accident between a Train and an SUV at and uncontrolled train crossing. Maybe IG is right - and we just need bigger SUV's.

Or perhaps we should all be driving trains?

What is it with all these accidents at uncontrolled level crossings? - look left/look right before crossing the tracks. Maybe it's just that people get complacent when they cross these tracks every day without incident, and just dont look. Russian Roulette without guns?

Or maybe "Trains are bad mmmmmmkay"

Monday, December 12, 2005

SUV's are Bad ...mmmmkay

After a discussion with Tumorboy and his wife Jac about the growing use of SUV's in New Zealand I tried to find some stats on how dangerous they were, especially in accidents.

Now; New Zealanders have a passion for killing themselves in their motorcars. It's a passion bordering on an obsession, but for every one idiot out there trying to end it all, there is at least one fanatic out there who is trying to stop it from happening. So there is a balance of sorts.

While I often see boy racers as natures answer to lemmings running of a cliff, it still upsets me to think they often take innocent bystanders with them. I prefer that if boy racers decide to partake in actions that greatly increase their odds of shuffling off their mortal coils, I'd rather they hit stationary (non human) targets.

In this article it mentions that between 1995 and 1999 there were an amazing 7539 crashes in New Zealand that occurred with only one vehicle. Now 6185 occurred with a stationary object.

In NZ we seem to prefer crashing into banks and ditches - trees feature fifth at 715 crashes - which should keep the Greens happy. Unfortunately SUV's arent considered as stationary objects (even when they're parked).

So I was wondering... if we fill in all the ditches, would we have been able to save 1049 accidents? I was also wondering ... where would we get all the dirt to fill in the ditches?

A-ha - According to this article 1474 accidents occurred by vehicles running into an upright bank. If we used the dirt from these upright bank we'd be killing two birds with one stone - bravo!

I know this sounds a bit trite and silly - but think about this.

If you knew that one Boeing 747 full of New Zealanders was absolutely going to crash every year. Would you fly in one?

Yet every day most of us climb into these metal coffins and hit the highways - never giving it a second thought.

And those of you that chose an SUV because it safer in an accident - Are you really thinking about the unfortunate people out there (who hopefully you'll never hit), who are driving a normal family sedan? I hope so - because most of the time, after an accident, they wont be around to think of you...

Paper darts

I found this site that shows you how to make a multitude of paper darts.
Geeky but informative!

And things have been getting a bit serious here lately.....

Friday, December 09, 2005

10 Word film Review of Harry Potter

needs closure.
actors range limited now.

Disturbing Headlines

Marshals Gun Down Proud American - NZ Herald 9 Dec.

Whoever writes their headlines should be fired. Imagine IF the Guy had a bomb in his bag, and while he was reaching inside he set it off AND the marshals did nothing... perhaps the headline might read;

Marshals fail to act as Suicide bomber sets off bomb????

If it bleeds it leads (well at least on the front page of the Herald)

I swear if i see another stupid headline like that again this week the kitten gets it!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Good old Watties

Watties - good old Watties.

A great NZ icon. You'll never be a Kiwi 'til you love our Watties sauce they tell us.

So when I go to the supermarket I buy Watties. And yesterday I brought peaches. And though they're not the cheapest, I'm a sucker for the whole buy NZ thing.

Having opened said Peaches, i noticed they weren't the normal orange/yellow colour - they were a bit "pale" looking.... Probably picked a bit early in the season I thought. But something about the whole thing bothered me - so I checked the label.

And there on the back of the can were the words...Produce of Greece.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Scalpers shit me!

I've been thinking a lot about these tossers onselling U2 tickets for the St Patricks Day concert next March.

There are some out there who subscribe to the "Market Forces" arguement - basically saying the price of a ticket is what people are prepared to pay for them. I'd like to see these people on the receiving end of a similar deal in their own lives - the souless bastards!

OK - so these tossers camped out to get tickets... I dont have a problem with that BUT for those people to immediately put them on Trademe at a fifteen times profit - that bothers me. And it really bothers me that people pay fifteen times the book value of these tickets! You MUGS!

Congrats to the guys and girls who posted fake bids and abuse. God love ya!

Remember these guys only scalp tickets because someone will buy them!

So...I dont feel sorry for the idiots who pay for scalped tickets BUT I feel for fans that have waited 12 years for this moment, and can not afford to pay for something, that given half a chance, they would have been able to afford at $100 a ticket.

Thanks to Jim, I get to go for $100 - but if I didn't have a ticket I wouldn't take one off a scalper - even if he was lying face down in the street with 100 knives in his back, in case I caught something nasty off him. They're diseased you know .....

Sudoku for beginners :)

New Cellular Network to start in NZ

Econet (EWNZ) are coming to town. According to this article in Stuff, Econet are planning to roll out a 3G cellular network in New Zealand.

I find this ironic, because no one seems to have picked up that this is a Zimbabwe based company. Remember Zimbabwe, and all the nasty things that were happening over there that almost upset the Black Caps tour?

I suppose it doesnt really matter as long as Hautaki Ltd is involved.

So who are Hautaki?

EWNZ has entered into a strategic partnership with Hautaki Ltd and has access to both 2.5 and 3G spectrum blocks. The former is held by EWNZ and the latter through a commercial arrangement with Hautaki Ltd. Hautaki Ltd holds its right to 3G spectrum on behalf of all Maori in New Zealand. In return, Hautaki Ltd has become a substantial shareholder in EWNZ.

So whats more important - A potential ongoing genoside in Zimbabwe, or a partnership with a New Zealand company?

And where are the Green Party when you need them?

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Update on CIA involvement in War on Terror

Passages from this article in the News Telegraph

Speaking before her departure for a tricky four-day visit to Europe, the US Secretary of State gave Washington's first detailed defence of the CIA since a transatlantic row broke out last month over its alleged use of secret prisons in eastern Europe.

Miss Rice also conceded that terrorist suspects were flown abroad for interrogation but denied that they were tortured, saying that the US always acted in accordance with international law.
She also hinted strongly that anything the CIA did on European soil was with the
support of host governments.

Over the next four days she can expect a grilling about her definition of torture and her understanding of the legality of "rendition", the CIA's practice of kidnapping suspects then flying them to a third country to be held in legal limbo. Two of the most frequent destinations, Egypt and Jordan, have a record of torturing prisoners.

"What now constitutes torture in the US?" Rice said on RTE (Irish State Radio). "That is a big problem, especially when the acts are carried out outside the US."

I'd be interested in what Rice defines torture as, and more specifically what she doesn't.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Big business and bad government?

A selection of interesting posts... well interesting to me anyway

USA involved in covert operations in Pakistan? Missile parts claimed found at al Qaeda hit.

Sony scramble to remove virus attracting anti piracy software from music CD's. Just wait and watch as Sony BMG go under if this sort of thing continues. Sony's rigid adherance to anti piracy measures have alienated customers who have moved from Sony devices like Walkmans and CD Walkmans (which used to be household names) to iPods and other mp3 devices.

Remember the Geneva convention - oh yeah thats right the US never signed....

USA running secret torture prisons in Europe? CIA flights to eastern europe have been occuring since 9/11. Reports abound that people have been kidnapped and taken to torture friendly countries for interrogation sessions. This is not a drill - I repeat this is not a drill.

Traffic Wardens are human after all

Hah - just another example of a misleading heading!

I heard on Radio Live the other day that eight Wellington traffic wardens had a deal not to ticket each others cars. Now a few days later the Herald has a short article on this. Just what the world needs - eight less bluebottles.

Finally a good story in the news.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Rewriting the News

Tumorboy has challenged me to rewrite an article from the maintream media - to take a negative article and present it in a positive manner. Here is the original NZ Herald story...

And here's my spin. Apolgies to Dylan Cleaver ;)

Opposition cricket players receiving gifts have again come under scrutiny following a series of breaks in play during the one-day international between Australia and New Zealand last night.

Play was stopped for about 10 minutes during the match at Eden Park as people got into the Christmas spirit on the terraces.

Australian players were gifted presents from New Zealand supporters from the stands.

Fast bowler Brett Lee said he was avoiding apples, oranges and lemons, stating that he preferred limes and womens underwear, but tennis balls and golf balls were also removed from the field. It it understood all gifts would be send on to Australia pending MAF checks.

At least five spectators entered the field of play while the match was in progress to say hello, praising their cricketing prowess, and noting the distinct lack of seagulls.

"We don't want people in a position to be hurt," Ponting said, after one fan rolled his ankle on a lemon.

Lee said, jokingly: "I'm a big fan of fruit but not that big." "I'd love a beer but."

Shane Warne made good use of the break to send a few text messages on his cellphone.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Is this the Ultimate Challenge?

This event....

The Wattyl Lake Taupo Cycle Challenge is New Zealand's largest cycle event. It covers a scenic course on 160 km of sealed road around beautiful Lake Taupo. The event caters for riders of all abilities.

On this bike....

With Tumorboy as the rider....

Obviously without the lovely daughter because the Chopper is for single riders ONLY kiddies!!!

Note the time to beat is 11:46:48

What is you Inner Superhero?

Was at Jen Jag's site and found the following link to find your inner superhero.

Give it a go!

By the way - I am Batman!

Friday, December 02, 2005

Convicted Drug Trafficker Dies

The Herald reports on Nguyen Tuong Van, the Austrailan drug trafficker, who was hung at 11.00 am NZDT.

Personally I believe only a fool would enter any country in Asia with any drugs - let alone half a kilo of pure "product", that after cutting would yield 25,000 hits.

He wasnt ignorant of the law, he knew the risks - and he has paid the price.

What I find amazing is how other nations will interfere in the internal politics of another country to try and change they way another society chooses to live their lives. Even the UN gets involved - calling the process illegal.

I've been to Singapore - it's a lovely place. It's clean - probably because there are laws against littering with large fines for non compliance.

I believe you can't buy chewing gum there without a dental prescription - and it's great not to have reminants of chewing gum stuck to the soles of your shoes, cause by the arsewipes who spit their gum out on the street.

Ironically, I felt much safer walking around there than I do my own neighbourhood - but that's probably because we only let our drug traffickers off with a smacked hand (and a cuddle afterward to see theres no mental anguish).

Its a shame that some people refuse to live within the structure of our society - and I ask you what is the point of a society if it isnt to the benefit of those who live in it?

For those who break the rules there has to be a consequence - and in clear defined exceptional cases the needs of the many outweight the needs of the few (or the one).

It's time to say enough - to draw the line in the sand and deal with those that refuse to live the rules of our society. Singapore has made their line in the sand - and I congratulate them for not bowing to those who would seek to undo their hard fought efforts; to maintain the quality of life for their people, and providing a just punishment to those to perpetuate a vile blight on humanity - those who supply Class A drugs.

Thursday, December 01, 2005


Seen on a home made t-shirt today...

Life is hard, especially if your stupid!

I didnt have the heart to tell the guy, because he looked so smug ;-)

In search of..... Good News

You would think that on this interweb thingy I'd be able to find a site that dealt with good news..

Well you can find these sites - but they're all Hippie or God sites

Now I have nothing against God or Hippies - but I desire uncensored good news - not news pertaining to any Religion, be it God or Free Love.

Freedom from slant is what i want - not more mind control - I can get that from the mainstream media :)

If anyone can find a good news site out there - please post a link.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Thoughts for the day

How many of our leaders live in "the real world"?

Do you think Helen Clark would have to wait in an A&E for 6 hours to be seen?

Do you think the Police would take 4 days to turn up to Don Brash's house after a burglary?

Do you think your salary should be decided by the higher salaries commission?

Do you think it's just that MP's and their families have unlimited air travel?

Finally - Do YOU realise they work for you - not the other way around?

And while the focus of this post may be political in nature how about these points...

Why would it be in the best interests of energy producers, to promote energy conservation - when that would only impact on their bottom line? If you were in it for the money you'd be busy working out how to get you consumers to spend more money wouldnt you?

OR If "they" want you to use public transport - how come its more expensive to take the bus or train than to use your own car? And they wonder why the car is worshiped in God's own NZ.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I'm so sorry

That I cant be trusted to sit next to a child on a commerical airline flight... because I'm a man.

Why is it that we feel that we should always have someone around when we are playing with our friends kids. God forbid we hug them when they fall over and cry, or even love them enough to kiss them goodnight!

This is so sad - and also a abuse of our human rights. I have no idea how to make it better. Suggestions are welcome.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Live life by proverbs?

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. A proverb (from the Latin proverbium) is a pithy saying which gained credence through widespread or frequent use. Most proverbs express some basic truth or practical precept.

Hah - a pithy saying indeed. It's also a load of rubbish. I've just discovered there's an opposite saying for nearly every proverb!

An ass that travels abroad will not return as a horse OR Travel broadens the mind?
Many hands make light work OR Too many cooks spoil the broth?
He who hesitates is lost OR Look before you leap?
Nothing ventured, nothing gained OR A Bird in the hand is woth two in the bush....

And the list goes on.....

All these proverbs seem to be a waste of time, but I've discovered that if you mix your proverbs you can create a new Zen like proverb that are just as fun, and useful as the ones mentioned above.

For example -

A rolling stone is worth two in the bush or perhaps...
An ass that travels abroad speaks louder than words.

Makes you think doesnt it?
Truely the pen is mightier than the sword, that taken to the water, refuses to drink!

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Turn off the Media

Dont believe a damn word they say.

Not being a media darling myself, I can only report my brief dealings with the media - however I feel duty bound to state that they're all a bunch of lying bastards. Basically anytime I've had anything to do with something reported in the media - It's always wrong.

So if we do a media hatchet job on this article I can simply say - If they got it wrong with me they probably got it wrong with everything else. And for good measure I'll throw in a bit of bias, throw out any balance in the reporting, add a little sermon, before smiling a little self satisfied smirk, knowing I've done a good job.

And you know who we have to blame for this? Us!

I'm getting off this media train wreck, and suggest you follow my lead. The only way anything will change is if "they" lose their audience.

Start by not listening to the national news - you'll find that after a short withdrawl period, that you'll start walking with a spring in your step, and may catch yourself smiling in a shop window as you bound down the street - well on your way to getting a life.

There are great people in this world. In the real world not every Arab is a terrorist, and you wont be gunned down in a drive by shooting while heading to your local dairy for a milkshake.

Believe me - I didnt see it in the news... so it must be true

Holy Personalised Plates Batman!

Ride with the lord!

And for only $300 - a bargain.

Hat tip: IG

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Monday, November 21, 2005

IG Likes Ugly bikes

My friend IG needs help - seems he has to own the ugliest bike ever created.

Or Perhaps in lieu of that - the most impractical bike in the world. He was last bleeting on about a "proper" Ducati with the desmo-moronic cam setup. (Sorry Craig)

I suggest all of you that know IG, please run down to his place of work and ask him if he has won Lotto. Given his obvious need to throw away money - he might give you some BEFORE he runs out.

On a more serious vein - I'm thinking of taking up a collection for a new motorcycle helmet. For those of us who know IG and his relationships with previous (ugly) bikes - it pays to get the best one he can afford.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Battlestar Galactica Season 2 - Fracking Amazing

Being the Sci-Fi geek I am - I have finished watching the first 10 episodes of Season 2.

When I heard they were re-making the classic Battlestar Galactica from my beloved 70's I was aghast. And that had the audacity to make Starbuck a girl!!

Fortunately I didnt join the bunch of freaks that call themselves GINO (Galactica in name only) and have jumped ship to the "New Generation" Galactica.

Simply put - this is the best thing (Si-Fi wise) I've seen on TV for some time, so much more substance than the fluff soap opera of "the original" Galactica.

Season 2 continues to get darker, and grittier. A warning to you all - the current season doesnt start again until January 2006 - so dont watch season2 episode 10 unless you can wait until then for conclusion to the mid season cliffhanger.

In the meantime did you know you can get directors comments on existing episodes but getting podcasts? By running them on you ipod (or a PC for the ipod challenged out there) whilst watching the episode on TV.

Ron Moore also has a blog - where sadder people than myself actually ask questions about the show. Do they not realise it's not REAL!!!

(of course it is - I know - I'm just covering my bases here)

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Humour - Fun with Hamsters

Courtesy of another site

Not as rude as one might think. A video clip for your viewing pleasure :)

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Weebl and Bob

A Weebl and Bob cartoon is available here.

A tad childish but.....

Lamposts 2 Cars 0

Some Aucklander will be feeling a little sick today.

Seems he discovered the turning circle wasnt as great as he first thought, and now he has to take his Lambo to get a scratch removed.

Parental guidance may be required for this link - some swear words kiddies !

UPDATE: Was for sale on Trademe

Friday, November 11, 2005

From the only in America File

California resident surfers are being told not to surf Tsunami's.

Talk about - like totally ruining your day dude!

I hate Telecom

This company is an evil empire.

Last week I decided to move my broadband to IHUG. Soon my upload speed will go from 256 to maximum speed, and my data cap will go from 3 Gigs to 20 Gigs.

So how much will this new plan cost me - Not one damn dollar more!

When I contacted Xtra they simply told me some ISP's have no 24/7 helpdesk, or virus email scanning... of course IHUG have both. Oh and they had the guile to mention the benefits of their new security suite (which you end up paying for).

By the way - with telecom your upload data counts toward your data cap - but IHUG's doesnt.

This arrogant company wouldnt even exist if it didnt have an unfair advantage in the telecommunications arena - but over time that dominance will erode - and when the revolution comes.......

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Kiwified TV One - Bring on the stubbies

Stop press - TV One is getting a makeover. In an effort to win back support TV One is looking to become more Kiwified....

Will we soon see the 6 o'clock news being read in a black singlet, and gumboots?

Kate Hawkesby would look great in stubbies!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Speeding Driver Dies

A Police chase in Auckland resulted in death today as a 4WD crashed into a powerpole.
No other people were injured - a brilliant outcome for the taxpayer.

In an unrelated incident tax payers will have to fork out for a trial of this idiot, who only managed to kill his 16 year old passenger. Unfortunately he also injured two adults and a baby driving in another car. Perhaps we need more lampposts in Christchurch???

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Stop this person from doing something idiotic

This is Junior - well - one of them is anyway. She's recently decided to do the New Zealand Ironman AGAIN in 2006!!!

And because she is the only one out of our gang doing it this time - Its all about HER. So congratulations on deciding to swim 3.8 kilometers (2.4 miles) then bike 180 Kilometers (a mere 112 miles) then run a 42.2 Kilometer marathon in one day. You are truely a crazy person.

More importantly however are the support crew, who tirelessly sit in the sun clapping as she rides by.... It's a tough day indeed..

Torture - Only in America

United States President George bush denies the US are involved in the practice of torture...


Vice President Dick Cheney made an unusual personal appeal to Republican senators this week to allow CIA exemptions to a proposed ban on the torture of terror suspects in U.S.

This would be ironic if it wasn't so sad.

So the US government would be prepared to condone a practice they would fight to viciously defeat, should it be against any of their citizens..... Once a great nation...

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Stuck in the 70's

So sad - but I finally got the chopper I always wanted as a kid... :)

Well actually - not this Chopper per say.

I have given myself to April to finish the restoration.

Tumourboy says this purchase may mean I'll never get laid again. I have therefore decided to hide said Chopper in the garage with my Stubbies and L&P until I cant take it anymore, and ride it around the neighbourhood.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Fireworks ban in the air

I read in the online NZ Herald that David Benson Pope is looking into banning fireworks if there is a big enough public outcry.

Personally I'd make the fireworks even bigger and more destructive to teach the small (but growing) number of idiots who missuse them a lesson.

But maybe the government knows what's best for us - after all we must be protected from harm at all costs.

After reflecting a while, I'll admit we are probably giving 14 year olds too much responsibility. Perhaps we should simply ban fireworks to anyone under the age of 30 and see if injuries drop. Another alternative is to instruct the police to fine at least three people an hour for misusing fireworks under a quota system (giving motorists a nice break in the meantime) - or God forbid only allow sales on the 5th of November!

100% Pure Bullshit

Well here it is.... My first absolute rant.

100% pure NZ be damned - Was listening to Radio Live the other day and totally agreed with Michael Laws and his damnation of all those morons who throw fast food wrappers on to the street.

Talked with tumour boy about this - and we both agreed that it was about time to reintroduce the "Be a tidy Kiwi" program. For once I wish the Green voice in our parliment would raise the small issues - Like keeping NZ clean, and do something about it.

As I keep saying there's nothing as big as the little things. Frankly I'd feel much happier about my country if i wasnt visually assaulted by KFC and McD wrappers everytime I walk down the street.