I have a job.
That statement should have brought a smile to my lips - it really, really should have.
Except it really, really didn't.
A few months ago my manager was saying things like "You should really start thinking about your future in this company - where do you see yourself in 5 years. Vacancies will be opening up shortly and you should think about where you want to be."
I wanted to be on a tropical island - but I don't think that was what he meant.
Of course I did not say these thoughts out aloud - I often keep my inner monologue well buttoned down, and this moment was no exception.
The trouble is - I positively HATE the possibility that a mid life crisis may be lurking. It is such a cliche - and wherever possible I avoid cliches like the plague (heh).
Many would say that a midlife crisis would be wishful thinking, and my aversion to a regular exercise regime has meant in fact that any opportunity for a midlife crisis rests long in the past.
So I did then the sensible thing - prepared for, and said the right things, at the right time.
I remain gainfully employed.
I am also very very very unsettled.
Should my inner monologue ever see the light of day, I would very possibly take it out - wine and dine it for being so brave. Thank it for saving me.
From what, I'm not entirely sure.
Because I have a job.