Fuck Fuckity Fuck Fuck

What if life was like a skydive gone wrong - how would we react to the moment?
Hurtling through life, aware of an all too certain outcome, would we live each moment as it comes, consoling ourself with a"So far - so good" attitude to our altitude?
Should we perhaps plan to enjoy each moment of the fall - feeling the wind rushing past our ears - planning a swoop or turn in mid-air just for the thrill, making more of the experience?
I suspect a significant number of us would simply be paralyzed with fear, hoping that by doing nothing, it would be out of our hands - perhaps even praying that the fall would last forever.

I'd like to plan a little. I guess I'm driven that way, but by what - I cannot (or will not) say.

NFG mentioned on Wednesday that perhaps I plan too much, that I should live more in the now - I'm paraphrasing her parachuting; she was way, way more eloquent. And uncomfortably close to making a decent point I hasten to add.
I have absolutely no idea about so many things. I am however a highly functioning idiot - not quite a savant unfortunately. If you knew me, you would perhaps make the mistake of thinking I was normal - here you get the crazy thoughts that plague me before I drift off to sleep - the idioting musings that promote giggles when in like minded company. It may seem at times that I am anything but balanced, BUT dammit I know I'm not alone in this state of being!
Just the other day, on a flight back from Christchurch, I overheard a guy in his mid forties talking to his mate in the seat next to him.
"You know I think my life stopped at 26 - no matter how the years have past; I never felt any older or wiser."
His mate nodded in agreement - sullenly reaching for his bag in the overhead locker, as he suddenly realised he too was stuck, waiting to evolve....
Quote from here:

We're the middle children of history, man.
No purpose or place.
We have no Great War. No Great Depression.
Our Great War's a spiritual war... Our Great Depression is our lives.
We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires,
movie gods, and rock stars.
But we won't.
And we're slowly learning that fact.
And we're very, very pissed off.

I sometimes wish I could be someone different; an indifferent skydiver, who would have planned, and placed a huge mass of down pillows to cushion the fall before he hopped on the plane - not to stop the inevitable; just to make the ending worth waiting for.

There i go planning again - damn - I hate it when she's right :)