It may be the fact I'm working nights at the moment and running short on sleep, but now more than any other time spent here in Auckland, I feel I'm not making any forward momentum.
I'm not sure - maybe this is just a end of the year thing, but in the past I always seemed to have more targets set, my progress measured by them being ticked of my list.
I think the issue was brought home to me last night, after a discussion with Dufus.
I have been tasked with something called "Network Health Checks". This job involves finding ways of measuring the "health" of our network and driving processes to improve the customer experience. In short; I find stuff that's wrong and try and get the groups concerned to do something about it. Already I have come across some areas where things could easily be improved but it's not my job to do the work that could make those benefits, and those other groups- well, lets say they believe they have bigger fish to fry.
The second thing I became aware of, is that during my search for solutions to this, and many other problems found, I have shifted my focus from my "business as usual"(day to day) work - and as a result I have found myself on the back foot in my own work space - not a good realization to have but I'm in good company - our group is in free-fall at the moment.
So, for the first time in five years, I'm questioning where I am right now, work-wise. As I moved here primarily for my work - it's scary that this may now be a motivation for me to move on. To where though, is less certain.
By a complete fluke I was watching this speech on You tube the other day;
These are the sort of speeches that make you wonder if you should be somewhere else, not settling for something less, at the best of times. But it my current frame of mind, lets just say the feeling is more urgent.
I'm not saying I'm definitely leaving yet, but in all honesty the need to stay must come from more than monthly paycheck. I have great friends here - but as time goes on, and they all move on with their lives I feel increasingly, less a part of the whole life experience, and more like a sideshow that refuses to end. That may be a sign in itself.
Then again - after a good nights sleep, everything could be a whole lot better.
I'll let you know when all this madness ends.
5 comments:
Thanks for posting this. I had to blog it on :)
Good luck ...
I didn't know things are that bad there. Here where I work (same company - other country) they kicked out many of the good people and the remaining ones are frustrated about the work load. I liked the enthusiasm of many of my collegues in AKL and it's sad to hear that things are changing there too. Take it easy, mate, it's just a job (I know: for you a job means something). Cheers, Karsten
Hi Karsten.
Thanks for taking time to comment.
As you know, we are undergoing a restructure of sorts, and although that in itself is unsettling - the major issue about my job is just me at this stage :). The possibility of change on the horizon is actually a positive thing. Working for another "bigger" company may be a refreshing change - and right now I think that's what I need - a fresh outlook.
It's also fair to say that we are all tired and stressed with all the work we have on at the moment - with any luck things will get back to normal as we wind down to Christmas.
Take care dude!
Hi Di.
Dropped by on Skype last night on the off chance you'd be around. Turns out Jess said you were fast asleep on the couch - say it isnt so!!! Afternoon naps are for old people Di :)
Cant wait for Manic to comment on this gem :p
Well Mark ... I'm a granma.
Manic's too polite to mock me.
Hehehehehehehehe
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