A Geek Tragedy

Unfortunately I giggled just a little when I read this.


If you don't get it, thank your lucky stars.

There may yet be hope for you :)

Drunken comments

So perhaps one bottle isn't enough.

Today I reconnected with some friends, arranged to visit another, and drank a nice bottle of red.
Though it all I wonder if there wasn't more to be had - more than one bottle, and more than one to share.

I've come to believe that sharing is better, that taking risks is better - that we can be the best we can, when we're doing something we love; perhaps with someone we love.
As the cosmic tumblers shift into place we can perhaps catch a glance of what could be, what will be. If we want to change, then the option is there. The trick is seeing the moments that shape a life, and acting upon them.

I only know, that for the longest time, I've been missing my marks. I've been listening to voices that arent necessarily my own. The voices say there is a plan - I want to believe them - I've been right before; they've been right before. All I know now, is that it's out of my hands.

The decisions that shape my life are there to be made. All that remains is the courage to do what must be done. To know what is right, and to make it so.

Unfortunately those decisions aren't mine to make.

The world turns, and lives go on. What will be will be; and it will be your will not mine.

This post will self destruct. I love the way the words flow through that one bottle, but I'd bet my life that they wont last. Life has a way of tidying up those loose ends :)

Perhaps sooner than you think.

Requiem

When I look back, on the decisions I've made, on the most part I can say I'm happy.

As far as I'm aware there's little unsaid or important to be done. In most cases I've said what I've needed to say, pushed as hard as I've been comfortable to in life and love, and left things as well as I could, before moving on.

I think it's important to live life this way, as you never know when your time here may come to an end. I hate leaving anything unfinished.

Still, when I heard that a workmate who fell from his ladder earlier this week, passed away this morning, I wonder if I couldn't do better.

Perhaps I will.

I keep forgetting

Question: How does being married to Tom Cruise automatically make you asexual?

Fuck taking back the night - we need to reclaim Katie Holmes!


P.S. I may be drinking tomorrow night, so will try and stop myself drunk-posting. Wish me luck!

The fundamental good

Although this may not happen everyday, its important to remember that once and a while our true potential shines through.

Kind thoughts to you all today :)

Lighter moments

There was a disturbance in the force yesterday.

Around 11am I turned to my boss and said (out of the blue)
"You know, it's as somethings lifted around here"
" The weight on my shoulders has... well.. gone"

(I should point out this is NOT a thing I would normally say aloud)


She looked at me strangely, and replied
"You know, it's weird, but I was just thinking the very same thing"


I look forward these brief connections between people. The phone call when you're thinking of someone, the email out of the blue, the energy of the crowd.

We're all made of the same stuff fundamentally; so it shouldn't be surprising if we connect from time to time at some sub atomic level.

Sometimes I wonder why we move in and out of each others lives; the cyclic nature of it all.
The mysteries of life and quantum physics aside, often Occam's Razor applies; simply, sometimes we can't bear not to.

And the reason for that, is something else entirely.

Underachieving

I've been listening to Taylor Swift all weekend.
I love the simple bass riffs I've been learning along the way.

She sings from the heart - and although I'm not a huge country fan, I cant say enough about her raw talent and emotion.

I wish I was half as passionate as her - but to be honest I'm feeling a tad jaded. Must be all that overachieving I've been up to. :)

Making it Rain

I really wanted to see one of these before they stopped.

I hope to see something even more inspiring from the US space program, but as long as people harp on about world peace and feeding the starving millions, we'll just keep dumbing ourselves down as a race. I think the real problem has got more to do with greed and power, than launching shuttles into space.

If I was king of the world I'd start with the eradication of far right and far left. Not forgetting the far green - I've got my eye on you guys as well!

Some kind of Talent

Now - If only that bloke from the Coors could just lose the chicks he'd make a fortune !

The Coors 15 minutes may well and truly be gone, but they did serve to show that Irish people are ALL incredibly talented, not to mention devilishly attractive.

A fact that wasn't wasted on me when I met Niamh Shaw for the first time.

I love this song - although the compression from Youtube really doesn't do the song justice. The only real issue is translating the lyrics - I mean "and tearing has it's ways??"

I'm thinking not...



I will get my Amp now - right luv? :D

Prozac Prose

This evening I took some time out to look around a local bookshop. When looking for a new writer I often follow a process I use when trying new wines - I'll take the ones with the nicest labels thank you very much.

Tonight my search passed row after row of self help books...

Im a cynic when I comes to self-help books. I think, in the most part they only succeed in helping their authors make huge mounds of cash. While I'm on this subject, I've always wondered why airport bookstores have an inordinate number of these books. Is it because frequent flyers need more help than those who take the bus or train? Is visiting an airport bookstore really just a cry for help?

Perhaps not.

At the same time I find it odd that any odd person can write a self help book that any other odd-er person can pick off a shelf; after all one cannot simply rock up to the chemist and pick a box of Prozac or Xanax of a counter like a pack of condoms. God that would be great. Just imagine.. "Very good sir - would you like some LSD or E with that"?

Anyway...

I looked at the titles, and the famous authors. Witty titles and colorful labels beckoned to me like an iPad on payday, and yes I must admit I was tempted. But with so many areas for self improvement, and so few years remaining, I decided it was much better to be a Monet (fine from far away, but with an underlying complexity up close) than an open book.

P.S. Ironically, I'm still angry :)

The Dreaming Bed

Since returning from my overseas trip, I've been sleeping in my spare room.
The spare room is adjacent to my living room, so when my folks come to stay I'm only too happy to vacate my master bedroom and en-suite, knowing my later bed time wont interrupt their sleep habits - it's a win/win scenario.

So why after all these weeks am I still in the room? I'm guessing its the dreams.

I never remember my dreams in the other room, and for the life of me I have no idea why.
I've always found that looking at your dreams is an excellent way of cutting to the quick, even if you don't really want to admit what they're saying to you.

Sooner or later you have to look to the truth of the things that bother you.

I'm wondering if admitting it means the cure isn't too far off. Right now I'm too angry to care, although that could have (partially) been the last 5 minutes of Castle S02E24 tonight.

So angry !

Toasty feet

I love the rain.

Today I took at walk at lunchtime and got caught in a downpour.
As life suddenly sped up to a mad dash around me, I decided I couldn't get any wetter, so carried on undeterred. There's a kind of peace that comes from not reacting on impulse.

Tonight the wind is blowing rain onto my kitchen window.
The wind whistles under the eves on it's way to Piha, while I am nice and warm inside.
These are the simple moments to cherish, even if my socks were wet all day.

It's a small price to pay for hot water cupboard trainers tomorrow :)

Looking Past the Obvious

I'm a sucker for this kind of sound.

I think that like this clip, in life you have to look beyond whats in front of you. You've got to want something more than what you see; either that or forever doomed to be nothing more than a Muppet.

I can't really say
Why everybody wishes they were somewhere else
But in the end, the only steps that matter
Are the ones you take all by yourself

I cant stress how important that last bit in italics is to me these days.

I feel old

Chemistry

I don't mind being married to my career
and I don't expect it to hold me in bed as i fall asleep at night
I just don't wanna settle

-Up in the Air (2009)

The next big thing

I remember how outwardly idealistic I was once,

I remember how one of my workmates said he'd kick his son out of home if he was gay.
I remembered getting into an ever increasing argument telling him what a fuckwit he was.
That part will never die.

I remember watching a mate dragging another out of girls room at a party
Because it wasn't his girlfriend's

I remember barricading the doors at work from non union worker trying to get in during a strike. I was shitting myself, but I wasn't alone.

I remember dancing with Georgia before she could walk. Later I remember reading stories to her. I remember her smiles and screams of joy reading "The Bear" story.

I remember when everything seemed so much more important, that the things we did were pivotal in some way. Things seemed mostly larger than life. Maybe it's just the hindsight talking.

Over time people mellow. We see the benefits in compromise, we curb our excesses, we grow up. Most of the time it's a good thing, but I guess I'm still looking for the next big thing - something to raise that emotion; bring back the flavor of life.

I wonder what it will be, and how soon it will take to get here....

One - Aimee Mann

Rumour has it the entire film "Magnolia" was dreamt up while listening to an Aimee Mann album. Depending on your opinion of Paul Thomas Anderson's work that may or may not be a good thing.

Yes Shaw, I know you hated it :)

I promise - this will be the last in the line of music posts. They come in three's don't you know.