Decisions decisions

Sighted - a 'tween in a music store.
Forcing herself to decide between Justin Bieber and a Glee soundtrack.
Time stood still; her purchase in the balance.
I turned away smiling, thinking how great it would be
for life to be that simple again.

Prozac Prose

This evening I took some time out to look around a local bookshop. When looking for a new writer I often follow a process I use when trying new wines - I'll take the ones with the nicest labels thank you very much.

Tonight my search passed row after row of self help books...

Im a cynic when I comes to self-help books. I think, in the most part they only succeed in helping their authors make huge mounds of cash. While I'm on this subject, I've always wondered why airport bookstores have an inordinate number of these books. Is it because frequent flyers need more help than those who take the bus or train? Is visiting an airport bookstore really just a cry for help?

Perhaps not.

At the same time I find it odd that any odd person can write a self help book that any other odd-er person can pick off a shelf; after all one cannot simply rock up to the chemist and pick a box of Prozac or Xanax of a counter like a pack of condoms. God that would be great. Just imagine.. "Very good sir - would you like some LSD or E with that"?

Anyway...

I looked at the titles, and the famous authors. Witty titles and colorful labels beckoned to me like an iPad on payday, and yes I must admit I was tempted. But with so many areas for self improvement, and so few years remaining, I decided it was much better to be a Monet (fine from far away, but with an underlying complexity up close) than an open book.

P.S. Ironically, I'm still angry :)

Decision-fest

There are many types of decisions.

There are those that run the gamut from quivering in anticipation, all the way through to a denial that lasts your whole life.

It's always more comfortable to make the decisions that lie in the middle ground, but after a while the safe ones pale to insignificance - even the ones that hurt you a little. Every now and then you just have to make a really good decision, or an equally bad one, to know you're really alive. The trick is knowing when, what and where to make the decisions that matter.

No - I haven't worked that particular formula out yet; I just tend to wait too long - it's just safer that way.

Every now and again, when you're about to make a decision you're unsure of, there's a slight pause in your thinking. Like a younger version of yourself about to jump off a tall cliff into a deep waterhole. You know it's going to scare the hell out of you, that you might not even survive, yet you understand the juxtaposition of the cliff and the waterhole leave you little choice. They were put there for this purpose - this moment in time, so you could jump. And like this metaphor, so is life.

You jump, you fear, you fall. But if your timing's right, or even a bit late (as in my case), you know as soon as you jump, that you were on the money all along.

You jump the tracks, take a different tack, and your life could change forever. The less we fear the leaps, the more faith we'll have, and maybe we'll get to where we ought to be in this life.

As someone said to me yesterday. "It's important to look before you leap, but it's equally important to leap as well".

Eventually a lot of us never get to the second part.