See ya Guys

When i think of Andy and Niamh's exodus from the holy land, two images come to mind;

An arduous passage...

and just totally rocking the moment when they get there.

This is actually a great representation of Ms Shaw.

Either way, they're the kinda people you miss when they're gone.

Defining mementos

Angela and I walked in to this concert in 1993 as a last minute thing.

It was a visual extravaganza - and in amongst it all I kinda fell in love with U2 again.

It's all good.

You never know what the tide will bring in; but rest assured, left well alone, it will take it back again. People drift in and out of our lives. I'd like to think there are reasons for these ebbs and flows - in fact I'm sure of it.

I joke that there are lessons to be learned, and only when they're absorbed can we truly move on. Lately I've realized that for me, the idea is to see things as they are, and not as they should be, or how I want them to be.

Sometimes love isn't enough, and at the end of the day there are more tangible reasons for things to be the way they are.
I've learned you cant fight life; you let select people in, and hope for the best. What happens next isn't so much in the lap of the gods, but within ourselves.

When it's not enough, you have to be happy you tried, having no regrets. Love is the stuff of legends - battles won and lost over time immortal. It's comforting to know that when we're nothing but dust, people will still be looking for the answers, when it's entirely possible there are none.

Kidding - it's something about chocolate - obviously! :)

Food Thoughts 1

Sometimes thoughts come to me. Like Eddie Vedder says "they arrive like butterflies". For now I wont chase them away; instead I will jot them down here.
My readership may suffer somewhat - but I'm up for it if you are :)


Free Range Eggs

I buy free range eggs at the supermarket, and where possible when I eat out. I'm fortunate that my income allows for the extra expenditure, and although I do it for the health of those free roaming chickens, I also smile when I realize that as a result the battery hens now have to lay less eggs every day.


Bacon

I seriously wonder if there is such a thing as bacon outside the United States of America. This meat on my plate is nothing but hot ham, wishing to be more, but always coming up short. I think bacon must be most happy when extra extra crispy.





Currently watching : Mary and Max

Woody's and Holden T's

I was in a queue at my favorite diner last week.

As I contemplated how not to break my low carb diet, I watched aimlessly, as those before me ordered.

A man in a holden shirt asked for a small minature botttle of wine, and a minature bottle of bourbon and coke to go with his plate of fries.

It was Valentines day after all, and he had a lady to impress.

I'm single for a reason people; although some days I struggle to understand why :)

I Skate therefore I am

This is me

Is there something fundamentally wrong with a man over 40 skateboarding?

I must admit the initial purchase was a impulse buy. Brett and I had been watching an old video transfer detailing the history of skateboarding in New Zealand. Both of us overcome with nostalgia, Brett mustered the courage to go out and purchase a longboard. Needless to say I was close behind.

The guy behind the counter mentioned that he'd sold a few longboards to older guys lately - I confessed on the spot and he laughed when he recalled Brett coming in looking for a board.

On the way back to work, longboard under my arm, I swear I looked like some cool urban surfer looking for the perfect street to skate. I was no longer MarkJ, Cellular Engineer - I was MarkJ, frumpy guy with a longboard under his arm. Categorize me into some "box" now be-arch!

Last week I brought some red wheels for my board - red wheels go faster, don't you know!

It's nice to know the child is strong with this one.

For today, I remember your smile

Certain songs take us to certain places; memories as clear as the day they were made. Some songs become anthems of sorts - defining moments in our lives.

Iconic kiwi songs aside this little Australian number reminds me of a time when things were incredibly complicated, yet fun at the same time. If I could I wouldn't go back - I guess couldn't cope with all that misplaced optimism and navel gazing :)

Still - I cant help but wonder if this song will translate without the associated memories. I hope you enjoy it.

I will come for you at night time
I will raise you from your sleep
I will kiss you in four places
I'll go running along your street
I will squeeze the life out of you
You will make me laugh and make me cry
We will never forget it
You will make me call your name and I'll shout it to the blue summer sky
We may never meet again
So shed your skin and lets get started
And you will throw your arms around me

I dreamed of you at night time
And I watched you in your sleep
I met you in high places
I touched your head and touched your feet
So if you dissapear out of view
You know, I will never say goodbye
Though I try to forget it
You will make me call your name and I'll shout it to the blue summer sky

Ahhh - cyber love

I seriously don't know if I should laugh or cry, but for some strange reason this writing style reminds me of Deadly Jelly. :)

Exhibit One: (below) - a comment on gizmodo

I met my wife on the internet. We met, things were great for a bit, and then not so much.

She freaked out and left...Granted she was a cruel heartless bitch that crushed my soul and ripped my still beating heart out of my chest like Mola Ram.

Then 2 years later she came back, apologized for her behavior, (she describes it herself in her own words openly as being a cruel heartless bitch to me) we started dating again, and now we're married.

She isn't above asking me to put my phone away when I start fidgeting during blank spots dining out. She doesn't mind when I start tearing her pinball machine apart to fix some little quirk it has developed. She appreciates me and my geeky tendencies as a gadgetaholic (I inherited this genetically from my other) who works hard to temper his purchasing choices.

I don't like things like Twitter and Facebook because they take real interaction away from you. You trick yourself into believing that you're having a relationship (friendship or whatever) with folk, when really it's barely that.

I believe you can meet, start a relationship, and fall in love via gadgets. I do not believe that you can have a real relationship via gadgets. Eventually you need face-to-face time and love.

And, my love for gadgets carries over into the bedroom. Including the holy grail of sex gadgets for women. (Yes, that one.) But, again, you really can't replace people, and actual human interaction. No matter how much furniture Frucci attempts to hump in the name of journalism (FSM bless him for his shameless pursuit of excellence.) at some point it comes down to face time and attention. Real attention, not that I'm using the laptop, watching tv, and listening to music kind of attention where you're soaking up input passively.

Journeys

Just remember its not just about how it ends, but every day it takes to get there.

One red guitar

In the corner of my room lies a battered red electric guitar. The frets are scalloped from inexperienced fingers pressing way too hard; the varnish worn away from the fretboard as the strings vibrated against the wood as I practiced: my first guitar, discovered again, dusted off, cleaned and restrung.

So - It may not be a patch on my new American Strat Deluxe, but playing her again I'm reminded of the 26 years we've both been here. Sure - we play a bit better together now; but we've both got a way to go yet.

So, with the sad preponderance of 80's music on our 3-in 1 stereo behind us now, we play along to a more enlightened platter of genres from my iMac; and as I play I'm glad we're back together again. I smile to myself, wondering exactly why….

It's nice to know that some things improve with age, even if we're both a little worse for wear around the edges.

Maybe even me.

But wait - there's more

This pretty much sums up why I dont watch the news anymore...

This is bloody tight

Who am I to argue :)



Every band with a single this year has a mission: beat "Break Even" by The Script. Oh, yah... good luck. John Mayer

Fighting for your food

The last couple of days I've discovered pistachios again . I find it amazing that somehow in this mixed up world, I forgot all about them.

Sonja introduced them to me in Paris, while we waited outside the Moulin Rouge in the rain. She was my first and only tour leader crush - a truly amazing woman.

I love how you get to pry open those sturdy shells, especially those buggers that resist. You find the small crack with your tongue and align your tooth just so. The shell parts under the resolve and voila! … well it's on to the next shell actually.

I always appreciate the things I have to work harder to get. There is no better feeling in the world than knowing you deserve what you have sitting right in front of you.

The trick, I guess, is knowing how hard you have to work for the next great thing in your life.

The wonder of weekends

I have my life back today ...

Since returning from Dunedin I've had a house guest, and it's funny now the place is empty. Funny, but in a totally great way.

It's not like I'm sitting here posting this naked in a leather chair[1] or anything - but when it comes down to it; I really like my own space. Space to breathe and if I'm in the mood, some music to break the silence. God; the silence, the whole not having to say anything.

Yesterday I dropped by the P's for a chat, and ended up getting the whole "This years going to be a good thing for you - blah - you've gotta promise to "get out there" this year speech. Nothing makes me more angry. People insist they have my best interest at heart but they just need to accept I have to live the life I want to, and that doesn't involve me being "out there", until I'm damn good and ready - if at all.

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone

You either fit with someone else, or you don't. When you find someone that fits, and for some unknown reason you don't end up together, it just takes a bit of time to adjust to that fact. That there may be another piece of life's jigsaw puzzle that fits just as well seems...well.. suddenly very unlikely - at least for now.

So - my mum entered by birthday into a numerology website when I was in Dunnoz.

You are a reserved, analytical and peace-loving soul who is blessed with intuition and intelligence. Your ability to concentrate, learn and absorb information far outshines other numbers and you often excel at all forms of scholastics. Usually your intellectual prowess as well as the clarity and foresight of mind is very evident to others at an early age.

However at the same time you are also a very spiritual number. This is because you believe whole heartedly in the relationship between Mother Nature and science. This is part of your inquisitive nature and determination to get to the bottom of what makes the world tick.

You dislike braggarts, gossips and neurotic individuals and find socializing difficult. This is because you can barely hold back your contempt of other people, who are often, indeed acting like fools. You dislike crowds, noise and confusion, so others are more likely to find you watching television at home rather than attending a big sports events.You are not likely to have a wide circle of friends, but once you do accept someone as your friend the bond is usually for life.

The same thing goes for your love life. It is not unusual for a seven to go their entire life without a partner simply because you cannot relate to the emotions and drama that accompany most relationships. This causes you to appear self-centered to others as you opt to spend your time on more interesting subjects.

Hey! I'm not about to believe that the date of your birth determines your whole existence - I'm just saying, that like most things in life, if you throw enough rocks, you're bound to hit a few targets.
That said, I see more than a passing resemblance to myself in those damn italics, but as one of the P's said last night "Nobody ever said you couldn't enjoy tomorrow".

And in that, at least, they're absolutely right. :)

[1] It's actually a cloth chair

Yay it's Wednesday :)

More than friends, I always pledge,
cause friends, they come and go.
People change as does everything.
I wanted to grow old.
Just want to grow old.

Not so much a hot-tubber....

Its too damn hot!

Given the choice of warmth or cold, I'd always opt for cold.

You can always put more clothes on, sit in front of a comfortably hot fire, or go to bed early with someone special. As an added bonus, I honestly believe the less flesh you show, the sexier you potentially are.

I mean; what's under all those extra clothes ? It's like an extra fancy Christmas wrapper, albeit on a very "adult type" gift.

Plus - in the scorching humid summer days you can only take off so many clothes. Especially when you have a house guest, or friends visiting.

Yep - it's not a "hot tub" kinda house - so sue me :)

Decision-fest

There are many types of decisions.

There are those that run the gamut from quivering in anticipation, all the way through to a denial that lasts your whole life.

It's always more comfortable to make the decisions that lie in the middle ground, but after a while the safe ones pale to insignificance - even the ones that hurt you a little. Every now and then you just have to make a really good decision, or an equally bad one, to know you're really alive. The trick is knowing when, what and where to make the decisions that matter.

No - I haven't worked that particular formula out yet; I just tend to wait too long - it's just safer that way.

Every now and again, when you're about to make a decision you're unsure of, there's a slight pause in your thinking. Like a younger version of yourself about to jump off a tall cliff into a deep waterhole. You know it's going to scare the hell out of you, that you might not even survive, yet you understand the juxtaposition of the cliff and the waterhole leave you little choice. They were put there for this purpose - this moment in time, so you could jump. And like this metaphor, so is life.

You jump, you fear, you fall. But if your timing's right, or even a bit late (as in my case), you know as soon as you jump, that you were on the money all along.

You jump the tracks, take a different tack, and your life could change forever. The less we fear the leaps, the more faith we'll have, and maybe we'll get to where we ought to be in this life.

As someone said to me yesterday. "It's important to look before you leap, but it's equally important to leap as well".

Eventually a lot of us never get to the second part.

Angry me.

Misdirected as it is, there's still a bit of power in this anger thing.

Embrace and direct, absorb and learn.

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home

Curious me

I'm amazed how some artists constantly put their hearts on their sleeves.

Perhaps that's why; when they fall, they fall so hard.

Mathematical Error

Just back from a wedding, where I took a few hundred shots.

I've known Amanda since the day she was born, and now she's married.
It may be serious denial - but for fucks sake I'm just to young for this shit!

And because I'm only allowed to date woman older than half my age plus eight years (I'll elaborate another day), the whole bloody bridal party was off limits.

I need a new calculator - mine's obviously malfunctioning... Its a shame the years don't come off like the kilograms. I'd love to be 30 again :)