Brooke Fraser.

Just a reminder of how beautiful music can really be... and it doesn't have to be about God.

Walking,stumbling on these shadowfeet
toward home,a land that i've never seen
I am changing: less and less asleep
made of different stuff than when i began
and i have sensed it all along
fast approaching is the day.

~Brooke Fraser

Cycle of Cool

I am so uncool.

That's only OK because, for the most part, we're all uncool.

Fortunately, how we are perceived is partially sculpted by the way we project ourselves to others. Hopefully this doesn't involve any of the "inner crazy" some of us struggle to suppress.

Unfortunately, the more you let your guard down and the more you say, the greater the chance someone else will find out how uncool you truly are.

So; given that you are indeed uncool, and those you trust know it (and they don't give a damn); that just makes them extra cool - right? *1

The only true currency in this bankrupt world... is what you share with someone else when you're uncool (Lester Bangs - character from Almost Famous)


*1 And then there is always a possibility that one day someone will see your signed Battlestar Galactica cast photo....and the cycle starts all over again :)

Love this Song

Although the song doesn't really gell with any particular time of my life (I hasten to add), the girl in green at 2:15 is stunning, as is the song.

Thinking how it used to be
Does she still remember times like these?
To think of us again?
And I do.

Love of the Game

I didn't even watch the All Blacks play Australia last night.

Truth be told I was called into work to supervise contractors working during the latest weather bomb to hit Northland. Around 2am I pulled up the NZHerald website to check the score, only to find we had lost. For once my heart didn't die a little. That's when I realised I may be well and truly be over Rugby; at least at the professional level.

For me, I now believe the only real Rugby is being played at club and provincial levels.
Titanic games played between regions; played during the day, not bowing to Northern Hemisphere television requirements, saying no to playing during cold winter nights. Many battles raged between Canterbury and Otago rugby teams, creating a healthy rivalry between the fans. That's the Rugby I love - but does it still exist today?

I recall a game where our local team beat the touring South African Springboks.
I was there at an NPC final where we beat Waikato in the final. What a day that was!
I remember standing on the terraces at Carisbrook with my friends. Chatting away, catching up - yelling Ottttaaaaagggooooo until my voice was hoarse - we made a difference some days I think.
Not too long later I remember walking around the London Underground in my Otago jersey when some lone soul at the other end of the platform let out the Otago chant. For a moment in time I was home again...all those miles covered in a millisecond.

I recall the players on that Otago team working in our community; you could see them behind business they'd own, or surfing at the local beach. You could say hello to the Otago and All Black player Jeff Wilson, as he poured you a beer at Umbrellos Bar - you might see captain Tane Randell at the Meridian Mall checking up on his businesses there. The players were a part of the community.

Sure - Tane wasn't a local lad. In fact not a lot of the guys back then were. Most of the Otago players initially played for the Otago University Team while they were away from their home provinces getting their University degrees (some even getting double degrees). Regardless of where they came from, they were our team, and a part of the Dunedin family.

Professionalism changed the face of Rugby in New Zealand. I don't believe as a nation, that we've ever recovered from the shock. Now kids with talent are picked out of schools and thrown into All Black development squads; some only to be left packing shelves in supermarkets when their playing days are done. And as for the black jersey? Where once it was won through fierce pride and determination, now in the most part it is probably expected as an end goal in a progression of Rugby development.

Something smells bad in this once-land of Rugby; but unfortunately it may be a smell we must learn to deal with. Those that control rugby seem to care little for the grass roots game, instead following the lure of sponsorship money wherever it takes them. They in turn nurture a new breed of fan who, very possibly, has never known anything but an All Black team wearing an Adidas uniform selling Steinlager. Sure - the new fans may love the game as well, but I wonder if a greater enjoyment of the game may have been long lost to them since the days of a paycheck. Frankly I doubt they would even care, wondering what the hell I was talking about.


But oh - if they were at the Carisbrook in 1998 they would know what real atmosphere was; it was as if we were all together greater than the sum of our individual parts - electrifying to experience. I was glad I was there to be a part of it.

Microsoft is Dead

You can kill a head right? Anyone can kill a head.

Well actually, someone else actually pointed this out about a year ago, so I cant take credit for the headline.

At this point I must mention my love of all things i and Apple-ey, and I wont even mention my recent epic struggle with a friends Vista build. The memory is too painful still. Oh the horror...

So, I'll just cut and paste some bits - because this guy Paul Graham writes it better than I ever could...

What killed them? Four things, I think, all of them occurring simultaneously in the mid 2000s.

The most obvious is Google. There can only be one big man in town, and they're clearly it. Google is the most dangerous company now by far, in both the good and bad senses of the word. Microsoft can at best limp along afterward.

Microsoft saw the danger of Javascript and tried to keep it broken for as long as they could. [1] But eventually the open source world won, by producing Javascript libraries that grew over the brokenness of Explorer the way a tree grows over barbed wire.

Microsoft's biggest weakness is that they still don't realize how much they suck. They still think they can write software in house. Maybe they can, by the standards of the desktop world. But that world ended a few years ago.

You heard it here last folks...

Whale Oil Beef Hooked

I’m not good with being bad. My first recollection of doing something bad in the world outside my home happened when I was about 5 or 6 years old.
My primary school was a small country affair, with less than 300 pupils. Every year we would have a sports day, and for lunch all the parents would all bring a plate of food for those who participated. I knew my Mum brought along coconut ice slice, and I showed my 4 year old brother where it was on the table. While we were hungrily admiring the cake we both decided to take a slice - after all it was our Mum’s cake and therefore, by some strange twisted five year olds logic, OK to take. At that very second my 1st grade teacher Mrs Noll yelled out from afar “Jennifer Aniston [*1], what do you think you’re doing?”.
Well... I grabbed Paul and we both took off. Mum and Dad found us hours later hiding in our play hut, under the pine trees at the end of our section. Nothing was said about the cake incident, I guess the trauma was plain to see.

Years, or perhaps what feels like Eon’s later, I still hate being caught out. I remember how my clean slate was sullied, and I really hate that someone can still make me feel that way today. Maybe because of that moment, I’ve lived a pretty tame existence? Perhaps, if I was more of a shit growing up, this feeling would have disappeared by now; maybe I wouldn’t feel so bad about being permanently suspended from You Tube.

Yep - It’s a bit of a stretch from the post traumatic stress inducing “cake incident”, but my ejection from the famous video hosting site, handed down yesterday for posting that 1 minute 40 second clip of Stargate SG1, imparted a similar feeling of woe; well through to at least morning tea.

It seemed that I pissed off MGM.

You know, If you think about that a bit, you could really start to worry; but hastily moving along, I was asked via email to remove the “offending transgression”.
OK - The geeky traumatized 5 year old cake thief in me promptly tried to log on to delete the clip, only to find my account had been permanently blocked. Like the cake incident I could not undo the wrong I had inflicted - I had been given my scarlet letter, and on me it was to be well and truly stuck.

I was, actually, in point of truth, in the wrong, and totally screwed.

After morning tea I got angry. As if 1 minute and 40 seconds of video really mattered. I mean, it wasn’t even porn!
I was angry because I was trying to illustrate a point with that bloody video - and it wasn't about how tricky it was to create the clip either (which it fucking well was, by the way).
These corporate bully boy laywers have recently taken on You Tube, so I don’t blame them per say for ejecting me, but i think it’s slightly hypocritical when you think of all the other Stargate clips (and other stuff) that is still there now. Why pick on me?

I cant help but wonder just how long You Tube would be in existence if they removed every last vestige of copyrighted material from their servers?

Imagine it....

We’d be logging in to watch crappy home movies of people we didn’t know, doing things we didn’t want to see, in places we never intended going. What a sad bunch of arses we’d be watching that Trifecta.

As my old mate [*2] Dylan Thomas used to say..

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.


I would have said it with more brevity, and a lot less tact.
Fuck the fuckers - and that's all I'll say about that.



[*1] Not my real name.
[*2] Didn't know the man.

Muppets

Usually a term to describe some of my contractors at work, everyone has a favorite muppet.

Music will never be the same again. Beaker is obviously my fave, and now he has a Youtube channel. :)

Epitaph

Paul Holmes interview with friend and workmate Tony Veitch is here in full.

I never really understood Paul's popularity as a broadcaster.
I've often disagreed with his opinion.
But not today.

Those of us who know Tony Veitch and have worked with him are in shock at how quickly a man who seemed to have it all can lose almost everything in less than a fortnight. He has lost not just his income. He has lost his name. The fall of Tony Veitch is a genuine modern tragedy....

...But this has been a carefully orchestrated plan to end a career and the life a man has built. A valuable broadcasting performer has been taken out of two prime broadcasting slots, the Radio Sport Breakfast Show and One News. Instead of us seeing justice, we may have been seeing revenge. Instead of journalism, we may have seen commerce.

...As early as Wednesday afternoon, I think, Veitch knew he was done for and could not survive. Early on Thursday afternoon, he rang me to say his statement of resignation was being issued. Then at 5.30pm the police announced the formal complaint against him. It is a terrible prospect for Veitch and his former partner. I imagine the process that lies ahead and the thought of how it may end. But at least now it is formalised, at least it is now within the system. Now the investigation will become rational.

Tony, I wish you all the best for the future. May you and your ex partner find the help and support you both need to move on in life. Time to heal I think.

Required : One Mega Stereo System

Partially inspired by Niamh's post this is classic Talking Heads.
Volume and Bass to 11 people!!!!

Another week that was

You have to love a short week.

Although I had to be up early on Thursday morning, by lunchtime I found myself chilling with friends in Nelson. Any thoughts of a "business as usual" week went out the door immediately - a mere four days later I feel proud to have included more than my fair share of NZ red and white wines amongst the numerous cafes I've visited. Last night Ang and I undertook a yearly tradition of cooking for the Nelson crew; yet again it was deemed a roaring success (i.e no reports of food poisoning yet).
I love spending time with Angela. Unlike some other friendships that started circa 1983, we seemed to have grown together and not apart over the intervening years. Having so much history can provide for more than a few cringey moments; especially when we remember who we were at 16 or 17 years old. In fact it's almost a challenge to outcringe each other with our stories once we get going - especially when alcohol is found near. It helps to have a good memory, although there are many utterances of "I'm sorry - I have no recollection of that" when the stories get a little too close for comfort :)

This post finds me siting in the Wellington air terminal, due in a no small part to a strike by some Air New Zealand crew. At this stage my connecting flight to Auckland is still on, but a potential adventure awaits - and my laptop battery is getting low.

Could be a long day yet !

Who watches the watchers.

For the longest time I have tried to avoid as much daily news as possible. Apart from the depressing version of life that is presented to the masses on an hourly basis, I see a more hideous agenda at play; that of the media becoming our moral compass.

Some years ago I made a decision not to watch the television news, and I have been much happier since.
Basically I believe it's mostly bollocks. Any time I personally have been involved in some news story I have been dismayed over the inaccuracies of the reporting. I once even rewrote an article for a reporter to clear up some issues over technical accuracy - the editor changed it back saying the original draft made better copy. I challenge you - next time you listen to the news, look for reporter bias - and listen what they are trying to make YOU believe.

Sure, as humans we cant help but have opinions. The problem I see with most (if not all) media, is a lack of balance. So many journalists now seem to be pushing their own personal agendas along with their stories. This I wouldn't have a problem with if the reporter said "I believe..." or "I think..." . But they don't.
They always seem to speak opinion as fact - and often they are just plain wrong.

I wonder sometimes if we can actually have news without opinion. Perhaps not. Even so I would prefer a report that served up the facts, and an item that didn't attempt to make our minds up for us. Perhaps that type of reporting no longer exists, because what a TV or Radio station report now simply reflects the bias of their owners. At least FOX News in the USA is honest enough to not hide this behind this fact.
In the years ahead I cant help but wonder if people will simply choose to tune into the news bias "they" want to hear. Moral compass indeed.

A local example of an issue that has been fucking me off lately, is the Tony Veitch affair.
I refuse point blank to justify domestic violence in any shape or form, but the way the media have continued to report this incident has been atrocious.
Encouraging opinions from the public, when the all the facts are unknown is ,at best, trial by media. Interviewing social commentators, who are simply pushing their own platforms is ethically bankrupt. Just today - the New Zealand Herald reported further information from "a source that does not want to be named". This person or persons unknown revealed more inflammatory information to the public on this matter. There is no proof supplied stating this information is correct, the anonymity ensures there is no right of rebuttal.

Frankly it stinks to high heaven.

This is a matter for the Police to pursue privately after detailed discussions with both parties involved. Emotions may have paid a large part in the attack, but for justice to be done here the facts of the case must be investigated by those with a vested interest in the truth, not special interests or audience numbers.
One can but wonder how far this reporting will go on. I would hope that eventually someone would offer both parties the help they require to move on with their lives. Mr Veitch obviously has a long road ahead of him. What he has done is very wrong. I just wonder if the New Zealand public can get off their high horse long enough to offer their heartfelt assistance to those perpetuating, and being impacted by, domestic violence.

I do however, have some searching questions about Mr Veitch..

Do you believe you can find it in your heart to forgive?
Must someone be destroyed completely to be redeemed?
Can he ever make amends for what he has done?

I just hope your answers don't depend on what TV news you subscribe to.

Battlestar Zen

Leoben Conoy to Kara: What is the most basic article of faith? This is not all that we are. See, the difference between you and me is, I know what that means and you don't. I know that I'm more than this body, more than this consciousness. A part of me swims in the stream, but in truth, I'm standing o­n the shore. The current never takes me downstream.

Weekend wishes

I wish I could embed this, but I cant.

Breathe in right away,
Nothing seems to fill this place
I need this every time,
Take your lies - get off my case
Someday I will find a love
That flows through me like this
This will fall away,
this will fall away.

Some days it seems like it just isn't enough. For some it's more often - others less.

May your bad days be few and far between. :)

And now for something completely different

Damien Rice - Cannonball

Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on

Language !

Overheard in a packed lift today at work.

Her
"I see you haven't attacked that stubble on your face again today Glen"
(silence)

Him
"No Laura, but it's nice to see you've had a shave this morning"
(deafening silence)

I love a good comeback, especially when people on attack often use an awkward moment to point score. The guys was so obviously indifferent as he shuffled out of the lift; a winner in every possible way.


Years ago I would hate having to be polite when older relatives or parents friends would come out with the most inappropriate comments like;

"God you've put on weight"
"Haven't you got a girlfriend yet?"
"Goodness, where did all your hair go"?

Part of me just wanted to tell them to get fucked and die, but children brought up in the 60's and 70's were often seen and not heard.
Old habits die hard it seems.

Fuckers.

Never in one sitting

It's so ridiculously silly, but after watching ten years and 214 episodes of Stargate SG1 in a row over the last two months, now it has drawn to a close, I feel I have lost something important in my life.

Yep - I know it's just a TV show, but isn't it strange when we invest so much time with people,things or places, we cant help but miss them when they are no longer there. Some of us are wired differently I guess.

Although I'm not about to rush out and buy an authentic looking SG1 uniform and head off to the next Sci-Fi convention, through this all I honestly believe these feelings of loss to be a good thing. Nonsensical feelings for those we don't know, this empathy for something outside our own sphere of existence could, one day, be our one saving grace. How to nurture those feelings of interconnectedness with each other could one day ensure our survival as a species.
No?



This scene, although not typical of the series as a whole, is one of my favorites.

Eight is Enough

Anonymous said...

Ok...now a list of 20 things your really glad you did? i'm intrieged!

I've been putting this off - not sure how to write this down, but Anonymous deserves an answer.
There are many of the 20 things I have amended in the last twenty years, but there are eight I'm sure I'll be working on to the day I die.

So here goes....


I'm really proud of the friends that I've made. The quality of the people that stand with me in this life, that support my choices, and accept me as I am.

I'm happy that I've haven't broken, succumbed to the wills of others. Sure, it's life; you have to bend a little to fit, but if you bend too much you break. I'm true to myself; I'm more certain about myself now than I was once, and I haven't changed the core essence of who I've always been.

I'm happy with how I've treated others. Sure, everyone at some point has hurt another person, and I have let some people go, but I haven't strung people along. I've never manipulated situations to be with someone, or taken advantage of a situation to get what I personally want - regardless how much I've wanted it.
I've seen others lie, cheat, and manipulate their partners - and although in some cases the ends have justified the means (for them), they never will for me.

I'd like to think I'm loyal and honest. I'm not above telling a white lie to protect someone, but if someone asks me something straight up, I'm going to give them an answer. Even if they don't want to hear it. It's a double edged sword, but most people appreciate it.

I speak my mind. When I'm upset, or concerned I tackle issues, even if it seems stupid. More often than not, people are clear on how I view things I'm passionate about. I pick my battles, and I'm not short on stubbornness when push comes to shove.

I have faith in the goodness of others. I'm not naive to believe every one on this earth is good, but I look to a persons heart, and I'm not often fooled.

Most of the time I'm a very positive person. Although it may not always seem the case in what I write here, there is a balance to my life. Perhaps I should write about more positive stuff - but I just tend to live the happy stuff instead :)

I've always been an independent soul. I love people, but I can also be alone. So many people in this world fear that - but through independence I've come to know myself; my worth, and better yet I have continued to grow as I question myself. I treat my friends as individuals as well - partners, husbands or wives do not exist in my world; If I am your friend it is because of you, and you alone.

It's not about money.

After six years as a prisoner of Colombia's rebels, the former presidential candidate rushed on to the plane that brought her children from France and threw her arms around Lorenzo, 19, and Melanie, 22.

"They're my babies. They're my pride and my reason for living, my light, my moon, my stars," Betancourt said, holding their heads close as they planted kisses on her cheeks.

Betancourt emerged with a pallid complexion from years under the forest canopy, but she beamed as she stood arm-in-arm with her children.

"Nirvana, paradise - that must be very similar to what I feel at this moment," said Betancourt, 46. "It's like being born again."

From the New Zealand Herald.

Why Science Fiction is cool

Science Fiction is an existential metaphor that allows us to tell stories about the human condition. Issac Asimov once said; individual Science Fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today, but the core of Science Fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all.
Scene from Stargate SG-1 - Episode 200

It's a stretch somedays

..and explaining the chasm between the extremes of your musical choices can be tricky :)
From

To

And finally


“Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy.” - Janet Long

No Pressure Folks!!!!

Please feel free to waste some time - PLEASE [*1]



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Something Moody this way Comes

Some days you'd be better off staying in bed. Like today, perhaps?
By 11 am I'd already told one of my workmates to "Go get Fucked" (with meaning, I should add).
If you were to ask any of my close friends if this was typical behaviour, they would hopefully come to my defense with a resounding NO.
So much of what I write here is honest. I believe that to be aware of ones motivations, anger, frustration, is better than to bury it all and hope for the best.
So with all this introspection, it comes as a complete surprise that I should get upset for no definable reason; even more confused to think it may be a myriad of smaller vectors.
I haven't even scratched the surface.
Butterflies beating their wings in some far land reining down chaos on my day are infinitely more reassuring than simply feeling better after lunch; I'd hate to think all of this PMS'ing came down to just having low frakking blood sugar.