Monday, March 19, 2007

Melbourne Musings Part1

All under 19 years old


So how was Australia?

I've asked myself this question many times since my return to New Zealand this afternoon.
I must admit that I'm conflicted; Melbourne was great, but there were definitely some major differences between Australia and New Zealand i hadn't really noticed before.
In fairness to Australia this could have been IG and Tylers doing. On my last visit I certainly drank more. I also know I ate more, the funny thing about that being well fed and slightly "sauced"; I perhaps wasn't as alert as I could have been.
This time I noticed that there are an extraordinary number of attractive woman in Melbourne.
In fairness - IG did mention this last time, but IG says this an awful lot, so after a while the whole sentence just gets diluted. What perhaps seems more interesting is that they all seemed to eat really really bad food. Oh - and they all seemed to smoke cigarette after cigarette as well.

The whole smoking thing was really noticeable in Melbourne because here in NZ we can't smoke in public places; In bars and restaurants, we are blissfully smoke free. (So if you come to New Zealand and see all these woman standing outside buildings smoking - rest assured they aren't hookers; they're just taking smoking breaks).

Standing in a smoke infested bar on St Patrick's Day, all I wanted to do was run to somewhere where the air was fresh and clear. This is what I have become!
After careful analysis I realised the source of my interest - how did these bronzed, attractive woman get away with eating burgers, pottles of hot chips and pizza, yet have very slim physiques? To my horror I realised that the "women" I was looking at were actually a hell of a lot younger than I first realised. It is important to note that would be impossible to determine this fact from their demeanour or looks. After much thinking I realised I had to recalculate by looking at the pimple encrusted geeky, gangly awkward friends walking next to them.
i.e. Their boyfriends...

Although this in itself was perhaps disturbing enough, to suddenly realise the "much" older ladies around me were in fact more my own age, was devastating to the extreme. I think I need therapy.

It's so nice to be home.

3 comments:

Mark J said...

I should point out that the image attached with this post is one from Australia's Top Model.
Personally I find very little "sexy" about sub 20 year olds. Sexy is definately a package deal, where experience and intellect rate highly - at least with me. The ability to eat chips and smoke not withstanding - obviously. All that said _ I'm sure they are lovely kids...

Di Mackey said...

Hilarious excellent brilliant post ... you must travel more methinks.

I thought you were back Tuesday, so not to be check in sooner :)

Mark J said...

Kids grow up so damn quick Jay - I wonder what the hell they have to look forward to!

Loved your short hair by the way - very Samantha Morton of you :)