This is bloody tight

Who am I to argue :)



Every band with a single this year has a mission: beat "Break Even" by The Script. Oh, yah... good luck. John Mayer

Fighting for your food

The last couple of days I've discovered pistachios again . I find it amazing that somehow in this mixed up world, I forgot all about them.

Sonja introduced them to me in Paris, while we waited outside the Moulin Rouge in the rain. She was my first and only tour leader crush - a truly amazing woman.

I love how you get to pry open those sturdy shells, especially those buggers that resist. You find the small crack with your tongue and align your tooth just so. The shell parts under the resolve and voila! … well it's on to the next shell actually.

I always appreciate the things I have to work harder to get. There is no better feeling in the world than knowing you deserve what you have sitting right in front of you.

The trick, I guess, is knowing how hard you have to work for the next great thing in your life.

The wonder of weekends

I have my life back today ...

Since returning from Dunedin I've had a house guest, and it's funny now the place is empty. Funny, but in a totally great way.

It's not like I'm sitting here posting this naked in a leather chair[1] or anything - but when it comes down to it; I really like my own space. Space to breathe and if I'm in the mood, some music to break the silence. God; the silence, the whole not having to say anything.

Yesterday I dropped by the P's for a chat, and ended up getting the whole "This years going to be a good thing for you - blah - you've gotta promise to "get out there" this year speech. Nothing makes me more angry. People insist they have my best interest at heart but they just need to accept I have to live the life I want to, and that doesn't involve me being "out there", until I'm damn good and ready - if at all.

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone

You either fit with someone else, or you don't. When you find someone that fits, and for some unknown reason you don't end up together, it just takes a bit of time to adjust to that fact. That there may be another piece of life's jigsaw puzzle that fits just as well seems...well.. suddenly very unlikely - at least for now.

So - my mum entered by birthday into a numerology website when I was in Dunnoz.

You are a reserved, analytical and peace-loving soul who is blessed with intuition and intelligence. Your ability to concentrate, learn and absorb information far outshines other numbers and you often excel at all forms of scholastics. Usually your intellectual prowess as well as the clarity and foresight of mind is very evident to others at an early age.

However at the same time you are also a very spiritual number. This is because you believe whole heartedly in the relationship between Mother Nature and science. This is part of your inquisitive nature and determination to get to the bottom of what makes the world tick.

You dislike braggarts, gossips and neurotic individuals and find socializing difficult. This is because you can barely hold back your contempt of other people, who are often, indeed acting like fools. You dislike crowds, noise and confusion, so others are more likely to find you watching television at home rather than attending a big sports events.You are not likely to have a wide circle of friends, but once you do accept someone as your friend the bond is usually for life.

The same thing goes for your love life. It is not unusual for a seven to go their entire life without a partner simply because you cannot relate to the emotions and drama that accompany most relationships. This causes you to appear self-centered to others as you opt to spend your time on more interesting subjects.

Hey! I'm not about to believe that the date of your birth determines your whole existence - I'm just saying, that like most things in life, if you throw enough rocks, you're bound to hit a few targets.
That said, I see more than a passing resemblance to myself in those damn italics, but as one of the P's said last night "Nobody ever said you couldn't enjoy tomorrow".

And in that, at least, they're absolutely right. :)

[1] It's actually a cloth chair

Yay it's Wednesday :)

More than friends, I always pledge,
cause friends, they come and go.
People change as does everything.
I wanted to grow old.
Just want to grow old.

Not so much a hot-tubber....

Its too damn hot!

Given the choice of warmth or cold, I'd always opt for cold.

You can always put more clothes on, sit in front of a comfortably hot fire, or go to bed early with someone special. As an added bonus, I honestly believe the less flesh you show, the sexier you potentially are.

I mean; what's under all those extra clothes ? It's like an extra fancy Christmas wrapper, albeit on a very "adult type" gift.

Plus - in the scorching humid summer days you can only take off so many clothes. Especially when you have a house guest, or friends visiting.

Yep - it's not a "hot tub" kinda house - so sue me :)

Decision-fest

There are many types of decisions.

There are those that run the gamut from quivering in anticipation, all the way through to a denial that lasts your whole life.

It's always more comfortable to make the decisions that lie in the middle ground, but after a while the safe ones pale to insignificance - even the ones that hurt you a little. Every now and then you just have to make a really good decision, or an equally bad one, to know you're really alive. The trick is knowing when, what and where to make the decisions that matter.

No - I haven't worked that particular formula out yet; I just tend to wait too long - it's just safer that way.

Every now and again, when you're about to make a decision you're unsure of, there's a slight pause in your thinking. Like a younger version of yourself about to jump off a tall cliff into a deep waterhole. You know it's going to scare the hell out of you, that you might not even survive, yet you understand the juxtaposition of the cliff and the waterhole leave you little choice. They were put there for this purpose - this moment in time, so you could jump. And like this metaphor, so is life.

You jump, you fear, you fall. But if your timing's right, or even a bit late (as in my case), you know as soon as you jump, that you were on the money all along.

You jump the tracks, take a different tack, and your life could change forever. The less we fear the leaps, the more faith we'll have, and maybe we'll get to where we ought to be in this life.

As someone said to me yesterday. "It's important to look before you leap, but it's equally important to leap as well".

Eventually a lot of us never get to the second part.

Angry me.

Misdirected as it is, there's still a bit of power in this anger thing.

Embrace and direct, absorb and learn.

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home

Curious me

I'm amazed how some artists constantly put their hearts on their sleeves.

Perhaps that's why; when they fall, they fall so hard.

Mathematical Error

Just back from a wedding, where I took a few hundred shots.

I've known Amanda since the day she was born, and now she's married.
It may be serious denial - but for fucks sake I'm just to young for this shit!

And because I'm only allowed to date woman older than half my age plus eight years (I'll elaborate another day), the whole bloody bridal party was off limits.

I need a new calculator - mine's obviously malfunctioning... Its a shame the years don't come off like the kilograms. I'd love to be 30 again :)

The wisdom of the Bob

Who the hell cares what anyone else thinks.
Just look into your heart,
and do whatever the hell makes you happy.

Dances with Avatar

Writing is a strange thing. I've been putting off my first post of 2010 because for the last few days I've been in the most horrid of moods. Not wanting to start the year off on a negative note, I now realize it's not so much the mood that I've been in, but the mood I'm in when I write about my bad mood that counts.

Capiche?

I think the worst thing about a foul mood is knowing why. If you happen to know, and you're powerless to do anything about it, you just have to ride it out like a bad cold. This is somewhat ironic, because I also have a cold at the moment.

Yes - Life is full of irony.

Rather than delving into the reasons for either my cold or bad mood, I will instead accept both and try to battle through regardless. The good news is I have yet to fall to the dreaded affirmations, but in order to survive the looming storm on the horizon I will no doubt have to pencil them in one day soon.

I think the trick is to be realistic. I think this is a lesson I haven't learned very well. I suspect it will take time and patience to master; and I wonder if something of me wont be lost at the end of all this. I hope I'm worng, I hope I'll always have some sense of magic, a belief in the possible along with the probable that shapes our lives. Time will tell I guess. At the moment I'm still open to the possibility of the unexpected. And for now that will do nicely thank you.

I find it interesting that many of us still turn to our entertainment to temporarily balance the less enjoyable parts of our lives. I attended a screening of Avatar last night. There were may oooh's and ahhh's over James Cameron's epic. I joked that it was merely "Dances with Wolves in Space" but Matt argued it was actually "Pocahontas in Space" instead. IG sided with me but correctly named it as "Dances with Wolves in Space without the running away bit at the end".

I wondered if Cameron wasn't running the risk of becoming an epic caricature of himself - stories coming second to the special effects and technical advancement of 3D. I mean, at least Peter Jackson can move from "Lord of the Rings" to "The Lovely Bones" - something I doubt Cameron could muster.

Still you have to admire his passion for his craft - his drive to create a world where not everything can be defined by logic or emotion. For that alone you should take time out and spend two and a half hours with his vision.

It's not a big ask people. :)