Observing the Octopus

Isn't it unfortunate when you meet someone you like?

I find it odd when the realization dawns; like in that ever so famous "filim" Love Actually, when Hugh Grants character meets Natalie. It's so...well... inconvenient.

It's also horrible when you realize that once again, your brain and disassociated hormones have swung the lever on some cosmic one arm bandit; yet instead of being showered in joy you simply feel sick to your stomach.

It's even worse when you know that you're not the Prime Minister of England, nor is she a tea lady. Personally, I think my brain has an ironic sense of humour, and would be better served concentrating on World Peace or some other achievable aim - rather than a foolhardy pursuit of someone so laughably beyond my reach.

Yet, regardless, the feeling persists - in much the same way morning sickness doesn't. :)

Lots of healthy denial and sweeping under carpets methinks.... yep - that should do the trick :D

Stuff I wish I knew 25 years ago

Although I know this cant possibly make sense, it's important to know that it doesn't matter how much you're into another person; it's how much they're into you that really counts.

In this, nothing you do has any influence; it's all the things you did to get to that moment of awareness. By then it's either happened, or it never will.

The wisdom of the Bob

Who the hell cares what anyone else thinks.
Just look into your heart,
and do whatever the hell makes you happy.

Island wisdom - well kinda

The dark comes quickly here, and with no TV to distract you quickly make friends with a novel or two.

After the turning of pages no longer holds that certain je ne sais quoi, you can turn to a canceled TV show on your Macbook for enlightenment;

Love is simple - you have it or you don't.
Everything else is either delusion or self sabotage.

-The Middleman Season 1 Episode 9

Get a Perm Doug.

Winter is normally a great time for me - I can sit in my home for days on end complaining about the bad weather. After all - if the days were fine and sunny I would have to work harder at excuses not to go outside and be sociable.

I am between projects - which is a tragedy of sorts, because with boredom comes apathy. Normally I have something to inspire me through the winter months, but at the moment: not so much. I have noticed a disturbing increase in the amount of inane chatter I have been subjecting myself to when alone - that was until I stopped to listen to what I was telling myself.

No - it wasn't "Kill them all" :)

It was, in point of fact "Get a Perm". And it was from this;



So, even my subconscious is now telling me to live a little , and who am I not to listen. But I'm not going alone - I'm taking you guys all down with me....

So don't just stand there - Get a Perm !

I will post updates shortly with more instructions from the subconscious. Don't forget to remove your tin foil hats periodically to receive my updates :)

Mixed Dates

I don't often talk about dates in this forum. Those who know me well could attest to my over zealous privacy when it comes to others in my life. I'm *very* old fashioned when it comes to this sort of thing - I don't even talk to my closest friends about my love life - in my mind there are only two people who should know - if you know what I mean.

Last night however didn't really count, because it wasn't that kind of date.

I picked her up at seven, previously explaining the plan was to go to my place, and grab a couple of takeout pizza's, watching some DVD's at home.
I should have known when she stepped into the car: she was dressed "to the nines", even wearing high healed shoes.

On the way to my place she asked what we were having for dinner - I explained we would go home, call up a pizza and relax on the couch to watch a DVD or two with a nice bottle of wine. "I don't like those sort of pizza's", she said, perturbed. I asked her what sort of pizza she liked, she responded "Authentic Pizza, From a real Italian Pizza place".

Right there and then I wanted to turn the car around, and take her home. Instead I mentally counted to ten. We went to a proper Italian restaurant, before heading home to watch a movie.

In the end, the evening went OK, even though it's fair to say alarm bells went off all night. Complaints over the wine glasses at the restaurant, coupled with issues with the manager over a mistake in the wine order didn't make for a relaxing evening. Fawning over my Television, asking if it was the latest model was the last straw.

She may be a stunning girl, but she can be stunning for someone else. The girl I love will have an inner light that touches everyone she passes - she'll be stunning in more ways than one - she wont give a care for the size of my television set, and will love the wine, and not the glass in comes in.

Part of knowing what you want, is knowing what you don't, I'm thinking.

Trite but true

By three methods we may learn wisdom:
first, by reflection, which is noblest;
second, by imitation, which is easiest;
and third by experience, which is the bitterest.

Coffee shop psychology to be sure - but it begs the question - How do you learn best?

Parallel Words

I love words. I love their width and their depth.
I love that the same sentence can mean different things to different people, and I love that they add colour to our life.
I love that we get lost in them - that they can perplex us, and transport us to another place. I especially love it when not everyone "gets it", and for those of us that do, the joy that that knowledge brings; that with all our differences, all the combinations and permutations involved in being an individual, we still get to have something together. Something special.

There are levels, and levels again. Meanings within meanings. In some way writing, music, and art can be superficial on one layer, yet in others, open to so much interpretation. Therein lies the magic; it's not just cut and dried; and for that I am thankful.

I guess I'm always looking for meaning - and I love the realization I've got a lot to learn yet.

You stand too close to the painting.
All you see is patches of colour.
Stand too far back - can't see any of the detail.
Right now this is your particular perspective.
And if you ask me.....

I'm a little too close??

Yes.

Why didnt I ?

Ten things I wish I knew when I was twenty-one;

Buy a house and save 10% of you salary.
When good fortune comes your way - take it and cherish it.
Love needs to be acknowledged and nurtured.
Don't stay in the same job too long. You'll get more money and kudos if you keep jumping
Travel early - don't wait too long.
Trust in your abilities, if a new job doesn't give you butterflies in your stomach then it's not enough of a stretch for you.
Make your own luck. Any other sort of luck is random at best.
Being a good person won't make things happen for you - Karma only happens to bad people.
Don't be a drunk - be a connoisseur.
Don't put it off for tomorrow - those opportunities may never come again.