Mixed Dates

I don't often talk about dates in this forum. Those who know me well could attest to my over zealous privacy when it comes to others in my life. I'm *very* old fashioned when it comes to this sort of thing - I don't even talk to my closest friends about my love life - in my mind there are only two people who should know - if you know what I mean.

Last night however didn't really count, because it wasn't that kind of date.

I picked her up at seven, previously explaining the plan was to go to my place, and grab a couple of takeout pizza's, watching some DVD's at home.
I should have known when she stepped into the car: she was dressed "to the nines", even wearing high healed shoes.

On the way to my place she asked what we were having for dinner - I explained we would go home, call up a pizza and relax on the couch to watch a DVD or two with a nice bottle of wine. "I don't like those sort of pizza's", she said, perturbed. I asked her what sort of pizza she liked, she responded "Authentic Pizza, From a real Italian Pizza place".

Right there and then I wanted to turn the car around, and take her home. Instead I mentally counted to ten. We went to a proper Italian restaurant, before heading home to watch a movie.

In the end, the evening went OK, even though it's fair to say alarm bells went off all night. Complaints over the wine glasses at the restaurant, coupled with issues with the manager over a mistake in the wine order didn't make for a relaxing evening. Fawning over my Television, asking if it was the latest model was the last straw.

She may be a stunning girl, but she can be stunning for someone else. The girl I love will have an inner light that touches everyone she passes - she'll be stunning in more ways than one - she wont give a care for the size of my television set, and will love the wine, and not the glass in comes in.

Part of knowing what you want, is knowing what you don't, I'm thinking.

The five stages of internet dating

Everything you need to know about Internet dating in five stages;


I don't need this crap. How dare you think I do? If you leave me alone I'll try it, but realistically there's no chance it will work. Imagine if I met someone special, wouldn't that be lovely? Then again, it's not really me - is it?

If I knew all this six months ago I wouldn't have bothered. And although it may be unrealistic, I prefer to believe in people more, not less.

Fish has a post on Internet dating, and although I can see her side of the argument .....

"My friends would describe me as laid back..." Yawn! Or, "I'm just an average guy..." Click! If you don't think you're special, why should I? If you truly are nondescript (and honestly, I have a hard time believing that anyone is entirely quirk-free), you totally deserve the kind of girl who would be intrigued by such a statement. May the lord bless you with a houseful of talentless children.

...I hate the fact that you have to super-sell yourself to an audience, when in reality someone should just like you for being you - not some 150% version of you. But who really gets to know you via Internet dating? I suggest no one does. You are what you write.

Then again Internet dating is very superficial - good manners are simply non existent. I would say that if the behaviour on dating websites was mirrored in real life we wouldn't even get past a first date, let alone a second.

When you feel yourself leaning the same way, and following a group mentality of behaviour, it's time to cut free, and if necessary, come to grips with the opportunities of love won and lost, by simply dealing with it; regardless of what future outcomes life may have in store for you.

Angry? Bitter? Resigned?

Most possibly.

You dive too?

After my nasty run in with the Russian, I have become increasingly wary of online dating sites.
Jay posted a comment which has haunted me since;

I'm not sure if the Internet dating thing really works out in the long run,
but I did think that lying was kind of a given.

This upset me, because I had to agree with her - people really do misrepresent themselves.
The question I need to ask is why?
If someone falls for your profile - won't they be slightly disappointed when they find you aren't some kind of superhero - that maybe, yes, at one time, you really did have a gym membership, and yes you would like to learn to dive, if the whole idea of water didn't have to apply.

Obviously, people tend to say the best things about themselves - but how much is intention, and how much is reality?

Of the few women I have loved - none went to the gym. And no woman I know dives. So I'm guessing this isn't so much a dating agency I've signed into, but a club of undersea gym fanatics, who love tall dark, and handsome men, who in turn are cocky (but not too cocky), can hold an intelligent conversation, and have a great sense of humour. Oh also- they must absolutely "get me", and love my cats.

So where are all the girls who hog the sheets, fart in bed? The ones who walk up behind you after a bad day, and put their arms around you - linking hands in front, resting their head on your shoulder? You know - the ones who make your life worthwhile?

Not at any damn undersea gym, one suspects!