Sunday, December 23, 2007

Hold the "you know whats"


Hot on the heels of my ham-less toasted sandwich post, I now have to put my hand up and admit I am a difficult bastard.
Why? Because it turns out I can even hate it when I get something I don't ask for. No one is more surprised than I!

Christmas shopping has been a little better than expected this year. Two new Mega-malls at Albany and Sylvia Park have opened up, so by taking a trip to a less hip, established mall, crowds are actually not too over the top. I managed to get a park on the first attempt. I must admit to getting out of my car and walking around it twice looking for towing signs or handicapped zones - but there were none. Un-fricking believable!

After the last minute Christmas shopping was done and dusted, I decided to drop in for a bite at the local Robert Harris Coffee shop, but as expected it was full to the brim with espresso drinking caffeine heads. My disappointment held in check, I decided to down-size to the mall's Burger King: big mistake.

Crying babies and mindless children running amok, the joint was almost moderately clean, so I decided to brave the elements and order a Double BBQ Bacon Cheese burger - just to tide me over until dinner. I wasn't shocked when my burger was luke warm - you more or less expect that, but when I took my second bite I felt a profound disturbance in the force.
In the universe I live in, finding a pickle in a Double BBQ bacon cheese burger, is akin to finding 7 McNuggets in a 6 pack - it just doesn't happen.
I guess the combo of screaming children, too many people, a luke warm burger, and a damn pickle was too much for me to stomach.
I put the burger down, lifted the top, not willing to admit the truth; yet there they were. Not one, but two pickles that had no right being anywhere under that luke warm bun.
Concerned that the world was teetering on the outcome of my actions I quietly put the burger top down again. No one had noticed. No one had seen the horror. Burger King were down two pickles and they didn't know it yet.
I had now convinced myself that the best course of action was to deny knowledge of the existence of the missing pickles. I folded the offending burger back into its hellish paper wrap and put it back on the tray.
As I grabbed my coke and slowly made for the door, I realized that we must never talk of this again. These two pickles swim with the fishes.

5 comments:

ren powell said...

:) :)

V 1 :) (happy emoticons are so much cuter without noses).

Di Mackey said...

Gert almost died laughing when he realised the reason for my shocked and horrified gasp.

YOU CAN'T BLOODY GET BBQ Bacon Burgers in TURKEY, IN BELGIUM, IN HOLLAND, IN BLOODY FRANCE ...I ADORED BBQ BACON BURGERS FROM BURGER KING NEW ZEALAND - where they really know how to take care of the consumer.

Now I have Burger King employees in Europe and Turkey who think I'm the crazy woman who asks for the non-existant burger.

HOW DARE YOU WRITE of leaving a burger simply because of two pickles when there are starving kiwis in countries much poorer than yours.

Dramatic sigh ... I'm done.

And I'm not telling Gert you threw the thing away, he'll be on the floor laughing.

I haven't had one for more than 3 and a half years ...

Mark J said...

Ren - all of my emoticons have had rhinoplasty. It's expensive but they feel better about themselves, and thats the whole point - right? :)

Mark J said...

Di.

Sorry to hear of your tragic story. I would do everything in my power to prove that such a burger exists, however you just wouldn't appreciate the Kiwi Double Bacon Cheese Burger upon your return. And we cant have that now can we!
BTW - For a limited time they are doing a triple Beef and BBQ Cheese Burger. I would be remiss in not notifying you - sorry. :)

Di Mackey said...

Lol, it's okay ... it's only the BBQ Bacon burger I've been craving. In Turkey, they didn't do bacon, in Europe obviously they fail to do good hamburgers.