Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Preemptive Strike

Disclaimer: I DID NOT read DeadlyJelly's post before writing this.

I am now disturbed at the similar nature of the two articles - however I take solace in the fact mine is better due to hers; she having fewer references to meaty goodness. :p

Anyway onwards McDuff.....

My Generating Excellence tutor once told our group a story.

It seems in the days of old, bushmen used to sit under a shady tree to eat the spoils of their latest hunt. Over the following days their bellies would swell with the meaty goodness before they would once again set off in search of new prey and sustenance.
During their hunt they would never stop to eat; their belly fat now gone, having supplied them with the necessary energy to hold them over until their next meal.

Question: Is it modern mans fault that there is now a McDonald's within easy driving distance of their last meal?

Moving on...

While working off our belly fat is high on the list of things to get around to (Exhibit 1: the sales of Abflex machines), it is a sad fact that the modern man has now also become a victim of self image. Preening and fawning over moisturiser, clothes, and fashion, the line between the sexes blurs even further - and all because we're supposedly "worth it".

However; for what it's worth, there is an underbelly (heh) of resistance.
The last bastion will not bow to the machinations of the media.
I believe the last battlefield will be around restaurants without meat.

Take today for example - the lovely Deadly Jelly maneuvered me toward an unassuming orange building with "Organic's' written on the side. I must admit to some trepidation seeing the sign as we crossed the road, however her dulcet tones around the quality of the pizza therein were strong indeed. 1.

Upon arriving inside it came to pass that the hither to highly spoken pizza contained no meat products WHATSOEVER. While on the inside i recoiled in horror, outwardly I barely made a sound. This abomination was pizza only in the same way that the Pope was a cannibal !
The tribesmen, if they were alive today, would have surely wept for my condemned soul.

Given my rapidly diminishing options amongst the myriad of organic grains, and vegetable shakes, I steadied myself before choosing the manliest item on the menu - a Chocolate Brownie (albeit made of spelt flower). The day will soon be amongst us men...perhaps sooner than one thinks.

Organics - Glen Eden - Fellow tribesmen, you have been warned!

And she has the cheek to call Brad Pitt smug !

1. Truth be told there is only one object that will make the hunter gather man in us drool whilst eating pizza - that being the thought of MORE, and possibly VARIED pizza.

2. The company was most excellent however :)

3. My belly fat was in no way added to by the experience - in fact it is highly possible that in my raise state of awareness I burnt even more calories than normal.


Deadlyjelly said...

I can't believe you didn't try the subliminal pizza! (I believe sublims are a form of meat).

What about new experiences in the wake of the jaded old year etc?

And Brad Pitt IS smug. It's hard to deny it and retain any credibility

Mark J said...

The brownie was nice, as was the company - however - pizza without meat is simply a piece of unleavened dough wondering about what might have been :)

And as for Brad - Tyler Durden aside, you may be right.