Saturday, February 11, 2006

The Real World

I was thinking about how people see themselves in a relationship, and how unreal that view might really be. Having seen how a relationship works from the outside I now realise that if you actually set out to look for it - you may never achieve it. I have come to recognise certain aspects of relationships from an outsiders perspective. This may prove useful in the search for a girl at findsomeone.
The first universal theme involves the male in the relationship passing wind, followed closely by the partner complaining about it. This seems to only serve to encourage the male to once again to pass wind, in what quickly becomes a never ending cycle of gas and complaints. I am unsure if there could be a role reversal here, as I've yet to find a woman who admits they "pass wind".
The second common theme, is an ongoing struggle over who does a meaningless task. The task isn't important - What is important is that neither person wants to do the task. Obviously there is much to and fro'ing over the task. Any third person present would gladly do said task to shut the whole to and fro'ing thing down. But you soon realise that the couple would then pick another task to try and get the other to do. In short you cant win - and neither can they.

This is not unique to any couple - so if I know you - and you're a couple - chances are I've seen you do this. I must point out I'm not thinking of any one couple - Youre all the same!!!

So If I have any chance of finding a suitable girl I must change my online dating profile accordingly. I should add - Can pass wind, even under duress. Can do most tasks but not if you specifically want me to.

Any other skills required for a real relationship I should be developing? Do Tell!


Anonymous said...

You must tell me how to drive - even though I've been driving since I was 16!!!!
You must point out at all times how useless I am with maps as well. :)

ig said...

I think you are on to something, you have observed something but you dont understand what you are seeing,
let me explain it is to do with the imposible question, I must admit I still get caught out, but if you watch out you wont fall into the trap of answering the stupid question.
Examples of stupid questions may include but are not limited to...
Do I look fat in this
does this make my bum look fat?
Is my sister hotter than me??
If you could change one thing about me what would it be?
Why are you looking at that girl/watress/stripper would you rather be with her??
These are only a small number of the many supid questions that are out there, But I find the best way to avoid answering these questions is to pass wind....Now you know why men in relationships fart so much..

Tyler Knows Best said...

I was wondering about the picture?

Is it a reference to your fragile mental state? Or maybe a subtle coment on the sanity of those who choose long term manogomy... Perhaps its just wishful thinking, I mean what self respecting man doesnt enjoy a loose screw from time to time?

Wise man said...

Can love really be measured by the volume of gas produced?

TumourBoy said...

No matter how much we to & fro I always do make the @%^#'n Icecreams! Am I weak or are there just some things that only a Man can do??
Oh shit I farted!... (1st one all day)

Mark J said...

We lose the fights we can, so we can win the ones we must. Because, my friend, there are more things worthy of winning than who makes the icecream cones.

Race pooh's?