Saturday, September 27, 2008

False Advertising


I hate subversion.

Today I bit into a sausage roll. I expected meat and pastry.
What I got was something else entirely.
Amongst the meaty goodness lay hidden peas and carrots.

I suspect there are evil forces at work here. Vegetarian terrorists, placing broccoli bombs. I lose my faith in pastry chefs.

I don't mind vegetarians - you know where you stand with them. You understand their motivations, their way of life; you enter into their sphere of influence embracing their culture like a good Christian.

But not within the scope of the sausage roll. It smacks of cheapness, of subterfuge. At least in the case of vegetable infected luncheon sausage (or Belgian/Baloney as it is known elsewhere) there is no choice but to see it's true colours: the bastardised version bleeds carrots and peas for all and sundry.

I dread buying store-brought bacon and egg pie; you want to trust, but the edges only tell part of the story. It's only when you take the first bit - delve into the relationship, you discover the truth. I tell you - it's not pretty, and ultimately soul destroying.

Take my luncheon, pies, and sausage rolls.
I want to believe; I want to believe so much.
The problem is, like life, you don't really know what you're getting into, until you take a big bite of it. I've been let down too many times, I'm lacking in faith I guess. It would be nice to be wrong: I live for it actually.

I'm up for the next bite being a pleasant one - who's with me on that?

4 comments:

Deadlyjelly said...

This is a modern day tragedy

Mark J said...

Was I not Christian like? :)

Jule's Euro-Arabic Short Story said...

Ever tried vegetarian sausage rolls? They're delish, lol

Mark J said...

At least they'd be honest :)
Forewarned is forearmed !