Being the spoon

I'm looking for a song to sum it all up.

I have to admit it isn't easy finding something that sums up my current days - but I'm still going to try, even if it's not quite right.
I've been hard lately - more than a little inflexible. I gave myself some rules that I had to follow. It really suits my Aries nature to be this way.
I've come to dislike the shades of gray, the shades of right or wrong. I want to keep it simple even when it's anything but.

The problem with simple, at least when it comes to music or life, is finding something simple to convey the subtle nuances. When color fights its way into the monochrome, threatening to wash away the black and whites, I get a little confused about the outcomes.

It's all a work in progress.
Dont deep dive the lyrics - it's always been more about the music with me - that and the sound and sway of the lyrics - never a literal translation.

Expect the video link to change as I lurch through my playlist. This task will not defeat me :)

Uh-huh

In Dunnoz for a long weekend.
My cellphone may remain off - such is my disdain for all things work at the moment.
This is not a good sign, but I'm going for a radical turnaround - things will hopefully improve if i can just shake off the negativity.

Crossed fingers !

Play it loud!

Oh to be a bass player in the 80's :)

New skin

I watched Skins for the first time tonight.
It reminded me how important everything seemed when we were that age; the ongoing tragedies around relationships, and the search for yourself in time left between.

I recalled the drunken conversations, revelations and relationships long swept asunder, and behold, I saw that their problems, once taken out of their contexts, were pretty much the stuff we all went through when we were young. Except for the drugs and the clubs (OK - I kid)!

It wouldn't surprise me in the least if the writers of Skins were middle aged with mortgages; still trying to get to grips with life - albeit with new lo-cal cookie dough characters yet to be fully formed. Maybe this time they'll get it right - maybe this time....

As for me; I'll keep watching the box, hoping there's still something to learn. Like tonight - there is no normal, everyone fucks up - so everyone is normal.
The trick is - working out if you want to fit in. If you can abandon that; that that keeps you apart you can be just like everyone else; fucked up. :)
In this episode, it seems the perception of normality was enough - so hiding is a definite possibility.

It's not that easy a game to play - this "life" lark.

Maybe this guy below will figure it out - Ladies and Gentlemen I give you RyderJ - born late last week. Another nephew - another chance to get it right.

No pressure little guy :)

Waiting

Waiting for the bee stings,
they tell me that success brings.

Come Undone

I'm constantly amazed at those who think they're incomplete because they are single.

I fight a battle with those people who think they've failed some life test. Ultimately only one person can guarantee you happiness in this world. And that person is you.

While I admire couples for their tenacity and mutual love fests, I think that it's always important to know where you end, and your partner begins. I wonder, if after a while, that line can blur more than a little.

I'm going on holiday soon. I'm planning on lying on a beach for over a week. I plan on reading at least three books, and doing as little as possible. I'm also planning to do this alone.
Not to say that I wouldn't entertain a thought of meeting someone, but now (as always) I don't feel the need to make it happen. I'm happy in the art of making myself happy.

We'll try to stay blind
To the hope and fear outside
Hey child, stay wilder than the wind
And blow me in to cry...

Leaving Las Vegas

Classic Crowe - I never "got" the later stuff, but that's probably my loss not hers.

Life springs eternal
On a gaudy neon street
Not that I care at all

This is our destiny

On a less serious note - This is what Doug has been up to since his perm.

Humorously, I did drop by Wikipedia to see if Flamingo's actually do fly.... I recalled they did in Miami Vice but I never did trust that Michael Mann fella :)



We could all do with a little destiny every now and again - and dancing too obviously :)

Dunedin

Star Fountain - Octagon (circa 1983)

I wonder how it ends?
...so says the button on Natascha McElhone's jersey in the movie The Truman Show.

"You know I've always wondered myself" said Jim Carrey, in one of his more lucid screen moments, as he holds the button between his fingers.


It's coming up seven years in Auckland now. I know that things have evolved here; it just seems I've finally managed to paint myself into a corner. That bothers me.

I've had more than a taste of what I could be here - it's rewarding, stressful and challenging; all at the same time. My boss tells me I wouldn't be happy if things slowed down - I'd just once like to try it and see if she's right.

I've started buying lottery tickets again - I can honestly say it seems my only way out - I cant do this work where I want to live - it doesn't exist there. Everything else does.

I listen to the people I worked with in my old job - they contract back to the company I work for now. I hear the stories of their day's and I see it all as clearly as if it was yesterday - not seven years ago. The same old stories - the same old drama. I know I cant go back to that work life - I understand I'm on another journey of discovery; I just wouldn't mind living in that little Edinburgh of the south if I could just find a way to make it fit.

So , I wonder how it all ends?
You know, I've always wondered that myself.

Get a Perm Doug.

Winter is normally a great time for me - I can sit in my home for days on end complaining about the bad weather. After all - if the days were fine and sunny I would have to work harder at excuses not to go outside and be sociable.

I am between projects - which is a tragedy of sorts, because with boredom comes apathy. Normally I have something to inspire me through the winter months, but at the moment: not so much. I have noticed a disturbing increase in the amount of inane chatter I have been subjecting myself to when alone - that was until I stopped to listen to what I was telling myself.

No - it wasn't "Kill them all" :)

It was, in point of fact "Get a Perm". And it was from this;



So, even my subconscious is now telling me to live a little , and who am I not to listen. But I'm not going alone - I'm taking you guys all down with me....

So don't just stand there - Get a Perm !

I will post updates shortly with more instructions from the subconscious. Don't forget to remove your tin foil hats periodically to receive my updates :)

80's revisited

Did I ever mention I listened to too much Joe Jackson in the 80's? :)

Oz Crawl

Le fils de l'épicier

And it appears my love affair with the French countryside continues unabated.

I watched "The Grocer's Son" last night.
The love scene was a sublime mix of emotion and light.

Try and find it - hopefully you'll love it too :)

Dead wrong

Did I mention I was wrong the other day?

Well... obviously I'm often wrong on a daily or at least a weekly basis; so I guess what I'm hinting at here was some higher "degree of wrongness".

Having an elevated degree of wrongness provides that whole "it's nice to know every now and again when I err it can become a complete clusterfuck" kinda feeling .
It's also comforting to know that my errors are not always minor or trivial in nature. :)

OK - if I was to stand back and look at the situation through a less critical eye, I could probably admit it wasn't "that wrong", and that I was mostly "right" . But the fact I felt bad about the whole situation probably betrayed the fact I could have done better. I'd be lying to myself by making this picture too grey in nature.....

You know the one great thing about making mistakes? You live - you learn.
And maybe, just maybe, every now and again an old dog can learn a new trick.

Maybe :)

Delays

A few things yet to come, including a post about mostly being wrong, and still having trouble admitting it.
Perhaps, yet another less interesting saga about the dangers of burnout, but not right now...

For now is just a short note to sing the praises of getting away from normal surroundings, and spending time with people you've known long enough to call family.

That and copious glasses of red wine...
Friends and wine mixed with laughter - 'tis the stuff worth living for.

He said - She said

He:
I like how in some movies, the smallest gestures can say so much.

She:
Like?

He:
You know, like in that film "The Bridges of Madison County", when Meryl Streep's character is talking on the phone, and she quietly rests her hand on Cline Eastwood's shoulder. It's the first time they touch but it speaks volumes about their feelings for each other - in a simple way.

She:
She should have straddled him. (smirking)

He:
I give up!

People are always nice at Funerals

I hate it.

The same people who dissed him are now rushing to the stores to buy his albums. Do they seriously think they're going to stop pressing his CD's?

I liked the guys earlier stuff. I loved Thriller - and so did everyone in the 80's. The images from his latest releases - not so much.

I thought it was tragic he never had a childhood, and I didn't really buy into the media beat up. I ask you - where were those kid's parents? There was no real balance in the reporting....

Later I remembered the surgery, and Bubbles. I remember the calls for privacy; "Leave me alone" and "Scream". I never believed he'd be back - 50 concerts? I couldn't see it.

I remember the husk of the man he became, Peter Pan growing old.

I'm sorry, but I wont be nice at his funeral. He was a talented and flawed human being - but given the same upbringing who's to say any of us would have done any better. I know many of us would have surely feared much worse.

It's just sad he'll never really be remembered (so much) for songs like this;

Making luck

Being an Apple fanboy - I cant help but admire the glorious leader. :)

I've recently come to understand the axiom, "make you own luck". It's a lesson that gives you an opening - a chance at happiness. What ever happens afterward, lies in as much with the gods, as with each other.

from gizmodo;


1990
About this time, Jobs meets Laurene Powell, when he speaks at a class at Stanford business school. They exchange numbers. Jobs had a business dinner that night. ''I was in the parking lot, with the key in the car, and I thought to myself, If this is my last night on earth, would I rather spend it at a business meeting or with this woman? I ran across the parking lot, asked her if she'd have dinner with me. She said yes, we walked into town and we've been together ever since.''

Seconding emotions

I've just finished watching Flight 666, the documentary of Iron Maiden's 2008 World Tour.

I'll be the first to admit I've never been a big fan of the metal pomp and ceremony stage show - I love my metal - I just hate the costume drama that sometimes goes along with it.

This flick however, is worth a watch in my humble opinion. Rent it :)

If I was to pick one small part that got to me it would be the shot of a fan from Bogota who is obviously overcome with the emotion at the end of the concert. The guy, possibly in his early thirties, holds back the tears, before breaking down just a little.

I wondered what sort of life he had - why he clung on so hard to this event, and why it made a difference....I love that the music touched him and perhaps made his life a little better for a while.

Moments later he composed himself, and made the cross over his chest, before blowing a kiss to the heavens. I know this sounds cheesy, but my hat's off to him. Such genuine emotion is not often seen in public.
I hope to feel the same way one day, but I worry my jaded sense of perspective will only serve to get in the way, when I should instead be celebrating something truly special.

Get a room already - now with Haiku!

Gotta new amp now
My mistakes sound louder and
Never like Mayer

:(

for the war that's raging on inside
oh, everyone believes
from emptiness to everything
oh, everyone believes
and no one's going quietly