Tuesday, July 28, 2009


Star Fountain - Octagon (circa 1983)

I wonder how it ends?
...so says the button on Natascha McElhone's jersey in the movie The Truman Show.

"You know I've always wondered myself" said Jim Carrey, in one of his more lucid screen moments, as he holds the button between his fingers.

It's coming up seven years in Auckland now. I know that things have evolved here; it just seems I've finally managed to paint myself into a corner. That bothers me.

I've had more than a taste of what I could be here - it's rewarding, stressful and challenging; all at the same time. My boss tells me I wouldn't be happy if things slowed down - I'd just once like to try it and see if she's right.

I've started buying lottery tickets again - I can honestly say it seems my only way out - I cant do this work where I want to live - it doesn't exist there. Everything else does.

I listen to the people I worked with in my old job - they contract back to the company I work for now. I hear the stories of their day's and I see it all as clearly as if it was yesterday - not seven years ago. The same old stories - the same old drama. I know I cant go back to that work life - I understand I'm on another journey of discovery; I just wouldn't mind living in that little Edinburgh of the south if I could just find a way to make it fit.

So , I wonder how it all ends?
You know, I've always wondered that myself.

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