Friday, June 24, 2011

Mrs Splendid's Return

Chilean dust clouds dispersed with, Dunedin fog thought better, and diverted my flight 500 kilometers away to Christchurch. I smiled inside as the captain gave us the bad news, as nobody complained.

Our flight landed at 9:30pm and we were soon leaving the city of Christchurch for our 5 hour road journey south. The bus was old and very cold, yet people were loathe to fuss. Two hours in, one brave soul asked the bus driver if he could turn on the heat - 20 minutes later we were all stripped down to t-shirts, wondering if it was better to freeze to death or suffer the trials of heat exhaustion; it was one or the other.

I sat by myself at the front, with a clear view of the road ahead. The rhythmic drone and gentle swaying as the bus as it meandered its way haphazardly south, gave me pause to think of my hectic week, and Mrs Splendid's eventual return to this blog.

I find that good friends make the simple effort to be in each others lives. Although they may be busy in their own right, good friends take time to consider those that surround them. They call, text, or email to keep in touch. They worry when you are ill, they listen when the weight of the world presses down just that little bit harder. And you do the same for them.

When you look at your friends, I believe they reflect the nature of your soul. Perhaps in some cases they even serve as an aspiration to a person you may one day become - if you are lucky. I look at my friends and see all the character and support i will ever need in this world. Mrs Splendid is one such friend.

As the bus continued through Timaru and on to Oamaru, I also realised that if i was to be truly happy I couldn't waste my energy on those friends whose recent actions seemed designed instead to push me away.

When a friend makes you doubt yourself, you realise, with some sadness, that something has changed, and for them, you simply no longer matter.

You fight for any friendships you make, as well you should, but in the end the simplest explanations seem the most probable; there was perhaps was nothing much to save in the first place, and for what ever reason - they are gone, and you are sad.

In the end your soul can not grow on scraps of friendships thrown your way. Better to surround yourself with a garden of those that love you, and get to some serious weeding.

We eventually arrived in Dunedin. I directed the driver to the Dunedin train station where families were waiting. We all thanked Derek (the bus driver) for responding to the call and delivering us all safely home at such short notice; such is the way of these Southern folk.

I thought about my long day; from my conversation with a dear friend that morning, through to this last ten minute taxi ride to my parents door. How different it would have been, if I hadn't had all those extra hours to ponder ? Would I have reached the same conclusions as quickly if I wasn't delayed?

Sometimes we travel so fast, to arrive too soon; our thoughts lost in the past. Sometimes we need these diversions life afford us to keep pace with our lives.
To divine a path toward more happiness.


Jacie said...

Beautifully written Mark - definitely on splendid form :)

Mark J said...

Thanks Jacie - it's a sad time when you lose a friend but in the end sometimes people need a good kick in the backside to get their lives back on track. Maybe it won't be over, but it can't carry on this way any longer. :)

Mark J said...

Disclaimer: I've been tempted to delete this post. Although it was a true representative of my feelings at the time, I think my emotions were running pretty hot.
By deleting this post I'd be denying what I felt at the moment it was conceived, even if my perspective has changed a bit since then. Still - what will be - will be, and here it shall remain :)

Cian said...

Glad you decided to keep it there. Some might say that you should not delete it cause it will bring back memories in the future when you re-read it. You might answer that you are no likely to forget it.

But if it was deleted a segment of your journey is gone, fallen into an internet void. Now that is not a good thing. Things and thoughts change, so be it.

Besides it was beautifully written and is something you can be proud of.

Mark J said...

Thanks for the lovely comments Cian - I should add I never delete posts - I just throw them back into draft state and they are no longer published (visible).

Stepping back is always a good thing - especially when you are stepping back from nothing. Although part of me knows there was a connection, in the end it may not have been as strong as I'd wanted it to be. Better to realize that there was potentially nothing, than to agonize over a prospect of something that may have only existed in my mind :)