Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Like me fuckers!


My universe is contracting.

Many of my Auckland friends have settled down with their families, or are playing house with their new partners. I don't get home to Dunedin nearly enough to stay that current with my friends down there, so over eight years what once were busy weekends have now become rather predictable and perhaps a little boring.

I know that it's up to me to make new friends, and to find new social circles to orbit, but thinking and doing can often be different things entirely. That said, I have met a number of lovely people this year.

From a single outsider looking into to another social circle, it can often be hard to break in. It's not enough to want it; they have to want it too.

It's kind of silly really. You want to build friendships; yet by making the extra effort you can look needy or overly aggressive. The rub is that if you don't try hard enough you never make an impression at all.

Some days you wonder why the hell you bother, and the next you're enjoying great company wondering what you did to deserve it.

Through it all I know that no matter how fine the line I dance; my choices are honest and there is no hidden agenda. What you see is what you get - and I guess that's all that really matters.

5 comments:

Cian said...

"I know that it's up to me to make new friends, and to find new social circles to orbit"

Oh , how I don't want to hear that line. Unfortunately there is truth in it, but I wish it wasn't so. Arriving in Melbourne with no social circle is a bit depressing. Not only do you get to arrive somewhere without friends, you leave so many behind - a bit of a double whammy.

Sometimes I wish we could put an ad in the papers and interview the prospects.

"From a single outsider looking into to another social circle, it can often be hard to break in"

You know I always thought my greatest fears were snakes, spiders, heights and being falsely imprisoned, but to be honest my greatest fear in life is rejection..

Deadlyjelly said...

Well, we're only a nine hour drive and three hour ferry trip away and you're ALWAYS welcome :-D

x

Mark J said...

I'm not saying it's a bad experience - just a difficult one. :)

Cian - A new city is an opportunity to reinvest yourself.
Niamh - I miss you too :) x

Mark J said...

Goodness - reinvest/reinvent. truth and fiction blur within a bottle of pinot gris :)

Cian said...

Still not sure about reinvesting myself here - we shall have to see. As for reinventing myself, my God where would I start? Actually don't get me started on that.