Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Live in the now dude!

On Monday, after work, I took Allison's advice, and got a neck massage.
The pain from my neck and jaw had got to the point where I'd try anything to get a decent nights sleep. God it was good.

Half way through the massage I couldn't help but wonder how long i had left. The pain had abated, and although I was enjoying the respite I was thinking about what would happen after the massage was over. As the massage drew to an end, that was all I could think of.

I am so angry - here I was in a moment of bliss, and yet I couldn't enjoy it fully because I couldn't stay in "the now".

If I could do anything over, it would involve an appreciation of the now, and equally, a extreme disinterest in the immediate future.

[Better posts when this is over - apologies - I'm all over the place]


Jacie said...

Oh dear Mark you do have my sympathy. I thought I'd share this latest bit of synchronicity with you. I too had been suffering (and I don't use the term lightly!) with pain in my jaw - upper and low on the left side. I finally decided that it was neuralgia and then read up on it and it said there wasn't much you could do about it - great! After about a week of this the pain seemed to settle in the back top of my jaw so I decided to go to the emergency dentist. He said there was a very small cavity in my wisdom tooth which would be hard to fill and it should come out. Major shock but I agreed in hope of getting rid of the pain. Pain has subsided over the week but I now feel that it wasn't the tooth at all that was the problem. My own personal view is that I was carrying an emotional pain that I wasn't fully acknowledging and my sub conscious wasn't going to let me ignore it. Sincerely hope you feel better soon

Mark J said...


I can say with some certainty that my jaw is getting better. For the last two nights I've been off to bed by 10pm and getting as much sleep as possible. As I'm sure you can attest, the constant pain just wears you down to a point where you're a shadow of your former self. I'm not sure how those with chronic pain cope with this sort of thing for years - my hat is off to them all.
In the meantime I am feeling much better, and hopefully another couple of days will see the end of all this. As for the cause, I'm totally in the dark really. Take care. Mark.

Deadlyjelly said...

My shoulder hurts.


Mark J said...

Where do I send flowers? :) x