Friday, April 16, 2010
I never liked birthdays. I think I may have mentioned that, for me, they're a measurement of progress; a time to take stock of certain things.
It's a waste of time, i know, but we are all wired a certain way.
Sometimes it can be a huge distraction; forever pulling me back to the same place to be measured against a standard that is continually changing; I can never win.
In my mind there were some things I wanted to have sorted by the 17th. The irony is that I can now only recall the things still outstanding. My life coach continually tells me I'm very perceptive; I'm thinking it's a curse of sorts, I often wish I was oblivious and unaware.
The risk of continually looking for answers, are getting some I suppose.
I once read a science fiction story where one of the sub-characters had a elective surgery procedure where he was left perpetually happy, not caring about any outcomes of life. Best decision he ever made he claimed - but there's the rub - He'd say that anyway.
Blissfully unaware, blissfully happy. I wonder if I could let it all go. I'm haunted by a memory of what life could offer, and what yet may be.
Another year: Still searching, still measuring, still learning.
I dunno - maybe it's a good thing after all. :)